Huz Revyuz

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:55:24 GMT

Greg Proops was on Blogtalkradio on Thursday, and he's on again... right now, apparently! (for the next couple of hours)

Colin Mochrie on King of the Hill (rerun)

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 17:24:51 GMT

Tune in to King of the Hill tonight (8:30 EST) to hear Colin throughout the episode in the role of...huge surprise...a Canadian!

An Evening With Colin and Brad - Mansfield, OH - May 2nd, 2009

Sun, 03 May 2009 19:29:54 GMT

The short of it: Still immensely entertaining even after having seen two shows. One of my bizarre suggestions was used! It was fun.

[Warning: This documentation contains shifts from past tense to present tense and back! Also, if you haven't seen a Colin & Brad Show, this can be spoilery. Also, some quotes may be changed slightly or paraphrased.]

Before the actual show
We drove past the theater because it was on the way to the restaurant we wanted to go to in the area, and I was surprised to see that, at 6 o' clock (it was an 8 o' clock show) there was already a bit of a line forming at the front. I'm not sure why they were waiting, since it was an assigned-seating show. Were they devoted enough to get there that early but not enough to buy tickets ahead of time? Were they just that eager?

Mansfield's Renaissance Center for the Performing Arts is probably the fanciest venue in which I've seen a C&B show. It might be the fanciest I've ever been to at all, though the Cleveland Playhouse is a worthy competitor. It was certainly a refreshing change from the Kent State MAAC center, where Amanda and I saw Flight of the Conchords. That was really just a basketball court (on which we would blame the awful acoustics) filled with folding chairs. But the RCPA is a pleasant, old-fashioned theater where they, to our amusement, sold popcorn for the show. Back when we were ordering tickets, we had the choice of either decent floor seats of great balcony seats. We decided on the balcony seats just for the sake of seeing it from a different point of view, and we were glad we did. We were on the aisle on the second row, so we could see the entire stage beautifully. I would totally recommend the upper level for EWC&B shows for anyone who wouldn't mind having virtually no chance of being called up onstage for a game.

Intro

The introduction was mostly routine stuff for all of the shows. There was a couple who walked in during the intro, and of course Brad called them out on it. "You guys are late. We had technically difficulties, and we started fifteen minutes late, but seriously. Forget about daylight savings time?"

Moving Bodies
The participants were Brad (Colin remarked, "What a stupid name.") and Jessica. A notable point Colin made when explaining the concept to the movers was, "Don't make us hit each other, or we'll do the same to you." For the game, Colin took the suggestion (for a European country other than France, Germany or Italy) of Ukraine. "I don't think we've ever had Ukraine." Brad: "It hasn't been in Europe that long." Colin then asked for an occupation that was around before the invention of electricity (yes, he said invention). Colin rejected prostitute (admittedly, that would make for an interesting round of Moving Bodies!), but decided on "buggy whip maker." Colin: "I'm pretty sure we've never had that." Brad: "We've had it for every suggestion in Lancaster, PA." Also needed was an unusual kind of animal, which would end up being an armadillo.
Brad ran offstage then began the scene by saying "Ding dong!" Colin: "Come in." Jessica was thrown off by this, but after a second "Ding dong" took the hint to walk Brad in. I don't have much to say about this one since it is a "you'd have to see it to get it" game. It involved Brad and Colin trying to ride and train Colin's armadillo using a buggy whip. The Ukraine aspect didn't really play into it - that is, I couldn't tell whether the accents they used were supposed to be Ukrainian or Amish. After the game, Colin advised audience participant Brad never to try lifting a weight-bearing leg. I agree; it's good advice.

Jeopardy!

I was looking forward to seeing this "new" game. I had seen the Improv All-Stars version and read descriptions of Colin and Brad's version, but couldn't quite imagine how it would work. But I'll try to explain it myself.
Two middle age-ish people, Bill and Amy, are chosen from the audience. Each is given a bicycle horn, to be used as a buzzer. Colin plays the role of the host as well as the voice of Bill. Bill, Brad and Amy are the contestants, but Brad also provides Amy's voice. It might seem confusing for the two improvisers to do double character duty, but the game is set up such that each person takes turns, so it's always clear whether Colin or Brad is talking as himself or as their audience member. They also do exaggerate voices for the participants, so that helps too. Colin holds cards, each with a category, and asks the audience for a one-word "answer" that belongs in the category. The "contestants" honk to answer with the "question," which is usually a groan-worthy pun. Not only does this set-up allow Colin and Brad to play Jeopardy!, which wouldn't work with just two improvisers, but it gives adds a New Choice quality, in that the participants can honk whenever they want to force the improvisers to come up with funny "questions."
Brad gave Amy the typical Brad-as-a-female voice and Colin gave Bill a loud, somewhat gruff tone. Bill accompanied it with overacted angry faces and poses.
Colin: "Contestant number one, who are you?"
Brad as Amy (though from here on I'll just mention the name of the participant; they'll always be voiced by their assigned person): "Hi! My name is Guinevere Patrowski. I am a part time bartender and a full-time alcoholic." (Amy makes a shocked expression)
Colin: "Doesn't that kind of make things difficult, you being an alcoholic working in a bar?"
Amy: "Not at all. I get all the booze I can drink! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Rock and roll!" (with appropriate flailing arm gestures)
Colin: "Um, why do you keep looking at contestant number two?"
Amy: "He's so handsome! And I'm drunk off my ass!"
Brad, providing his own voice, was Jean-Claude Recharde. "I'm a part time ice sculpture and a full time ice sculpture." After Colin asked about this, Brad clarified, "It's a recession. I need two jobs." Bill was Reginald Van Foofenhaffen, and I am a life cheerleader." Bill demonstrated by shuffling left and right oddly. "And a part time fiddler crab, I'm guessing." Colin asked him more about being a life cheerleader, prompting Bill to do his attempt at cheerleading, which seemed to be whatever spastic movements came to mind for him.

First category: Musical terms
Answer: Allegro (Amanda tried to get in arpeggio)
Brad: "What does a pirate hope will happen?"

Second category: Type of insects
Answer: Mosquito
Bill: "What is attached to a mesquite foot?"

Third category: Spices or herbs
Answer: Cumin
Amy: "What will she be doing 'round the mountain?"

Fourth category: Types of hats
Answer: Sombrero
Guinevere: "What is less than more brero?"

Fifth category: Mythical creatures or monsters
Answer: Cyclops
Bill honks in. Colin asks "Reginald" for the question, but Bill looks at Brad. "You're Reginald," Colin points out. Brad adds, "He is drunk as well!"
Colin: "Why are you looking at him?"
"Reginald": "Oh! He is just so attractive!"
Colin: "The answer is cyclops. What is the question?" Bill, using his own voice, starts to reply, at the same time that Colin speaks for him. After the confusion clears, Colin-as-Bill gives the question. "What ... doesn't rhyme with perpendicular?"

Sixth category: Indian tribes
Answer: Hopewell
Amy: "Where do you dump your bucket of dreams?" After it's confirmed that this is the correct answer, she adds, "Wow, I'm soberin' up!"

Seventh category: Things that live in the sea
Answer: Octopus
Amy: "What do you call a lady with eight vaginas? [roars of shock and laughter from the audience] I can't believe I said that."

Colin: "Whah-whah-whah-what! Well that's the noise I make when it's time for Final Jeopardy."

Amy: "I am going to bid a fifth of wild turkey...and a lap dance."
Colin: "Oh! All right Guinevere. I am pulling for you." Colin announces the category, three-syllable words. "I believe the first thing I heard clearly was 'cat.' Here we go, Guinevere. The category, three-syllable words, the answer was 'cat.' What is the question?"
Amy: "Yes. What word has three syllables in Mansfield, Ohio?"

Bill: "I have bid all of my points and I am going to get a relaxation class. Everyone RELAX. Everyone RELAAX. Everyone RELAAAX." (during this Bill flexes his most strenuous odd-pose muscles yet) His category is "foreign words." The answer is "Margarita." Amy enthusiastically tries to buzz in. "I love me some maaaarrrgaaarita!"
Colin: "The answer we got was danke schoen. Good luck to you, Reginald; I've got a feeling it's not going to be good. The answer is danke schoen. What...is...the question?"
Bill: "Yes! What do you get when you...wipe a donkey with..." Bill makes a large forward wiping motion with his arm. Brad and Amy slowly step away from Bill. Colin is also taken aback with it, and gives him the points.
Brad: "I am going to bid all of my points and my restraining order against Reginald." Brad's category is "things associated with outer space."

Colin: "The answer is 'Uranus.'"
Brad: "Where is the worst place to hide your car keys?"

The game ended with Colin commenting, "It would've been better if we just got Bill out of his shell." Brad added, "That last game was sponsored by Ritalin."

The Torture Game

To recap; this is a medley of the games Questions Only, One-Syllable Words, If You Know What I Mean, Letter Substitutions (for this night, every S would be substituted with a T), and the Dr. Seuss game (which I think should be called Fezzik's Game). Shannon, chosen from the audience, reads each game name whenever Colin or Brad says "freeze," just for the sake of reminding everyone which is next.
Shannon also helped by blindly choosing, from the Richland/Ashland Regional Yellow Pages, the profession(s) which Colin and Brad would use for their scene. The first was Mansfield neurology (Brad pointed out that "right below it is gynecology.") This would be combined with another profession, though. The second choice at first was (something) medical, but it's understandable that Brad skipped this and checked the opposite page to find mattresses and meat packers. "Let your comedy spices pick the right one," Brad told Shannon. The audience was strongly in favor of meat packers, and she obliged.

The game started in the style of Shakespeare (so I guess it's more a medley of six games). Anyone who's seen any of the American Whose Line guys do Shakespeare can pretty much imagine how this went. Colin made a reference to the first game "My words burst forth like a Ukrainian armadillo." Colin played the part of a neurologist hiring Brad, the meat packer, to provide catering for his party. It...makes sense if you don't think too much about it.

I was amused when, in Questions Only, they made a very topical reference (even if I'm already sick [no pun intended] of hearing about it):
Brad: "Do you want pork? Do you want chicken? Do you want...swine?"
Colin: "Can we hold off on the swine?"

Brad: "Do you have any vegetarians?"
Colin: "Would I be hiring a meat packer if they were? Is there a carrot packer that I don't know about?"

The - next - game - was - Brad - for - most - of - the - time - though - he - did - talk - like - this - for - I - think - the - whole - game. Colin replied to some of Brad's long-winded sentences with one-word sentences like "good" and "yeah."

Colin: "They will go in the crowd and serve the food?"
Brad: "Yes. On trays."
Colin: "Oh. That will be good. On their hands would be bad."
Brad: "No, that would not be clean."
Colin: "No. It must be clean, for it is a place of...clean...things."
Brad: "What is the...worse thing that...a brain can have? Name it."
Colin: "There is a thing we call...Brain Sick. That is all I must say."
Brad: "How do you know if you are sick of the brain?"
Colin: "Your head does swell up to the size of a...large fruit."
Brad: "Which fruit?"
Colin: (after a moment of though) "A...grape, times ten. So, you will ... have the...meat...all...set to go..."
Brad: "Yes. What day of the week should I - (audience laughter and applause drowning out the rest)
Colin: "You can bring the meat...three days from now."
Brad: "What day is that? I don't know what this day is!"
Colin: "It is May 1st."
Brad: "How would you like to play? I don't take cash. Do you have a charge card?"
Colin: "Yeah."
Brad: "What brand?"
Colin: "This one. I will fit it out to save time. There you go. All is done. Yay!"

If You Know What I Mean included the expected jokes about tasting and having meat, but "I can't wait to bring all of my meat to your opening" did stand out. There were also lines about Brad's large staff, which included two women who work on his staff full time. Colin asked how many men Brad has under him.

Letter Substitutions, with the S to T conversion, was a bit like a scene of Tweety impersonations. My favorite part of this game is always when a player says something that ends up sounding naughty, but he doesn't realize it until afterward...such as when Colin complimented the meat by calling it "deliciout." It's not amusing when one goes out of the way to say something risque-sounding, like when Colin described how he would recommend it to all of his family: including his mother, father, and titter. I'm not quite sure whether using the family name of "Taint Clare" was an intentional one, though. But I didn't even think twice about it until Brad said, "You mutt be French, becaute there it a taint in your name." Brad shouting "thit" seemed gratuitous, but at least it actually gave the scene some direction - it was then about how Brad couldn't cater Colin's event because of his "ton's toccer game." This of course angered Colin, and the two argued, calling each other names like "att hole" and "battard."

For the Dr. Seuss game, the two calmed down and apologized.
Colin: "I did not mean to scream and yell. Why, this past week has just been hell! Putting this party all together. And then on Sunday I hear there will be rainy weather. All these things are causing me stress. Why, just yesterday I put on a dress."
The game also featured the "classic" Colinism "ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee." I wonder if now does it more as a catch phrase than as an actual alternative to coming up with any other "ee" rhymes.
The two repeated the gag I had seen in my first show in which Brad says several things ending in -uck, only for Colin to come up with anything other than you-know-what. They even used the same lines, though reworded and rearranged. It also ended the same way, with Colin just saying, "All right, see ya."

Sound Effects

This is one of the games that I would normally complain is mostly the same every time, but I've gotta give credit to the two for mixing it up this time around. Colin specifically asked for a volunteer confident in their sound effects ability, who ended up being a teenage dude (Brendan, I think). Brad walked into the audience and explained that since normally, it's hard for the audience in the back to be heard for suggestions, he would let an entire section provide his sound effects. He handed it to one person, and each person would pass the microphone to the person sitting next to him or her after making one sound effect. It's a great idea - it provides a wider range of sound effect talents (or lack of) and gives more people the chance to participate in the show. And since Colin still has an onstage sound effect provider, I still got the benefit of seeing the embarrassed amateur performer's reactions.
For the scene, Colin asked for "something you've always wanted to do, but was afraid to do, like bungee-jumping or sky-diving." This was the perfect opportunity for me to use the suggestion of "hot-air balloon," which I'd always wanted to get in ever since littlechild suggested it in a previous post. My shout of "go in a hot air balloon," however, not heard. It would've been interesting if it was used, though. I imagine it would prevent Colin and Brad from using the same exact scene structure that they had used in almost all of their previous Sound Effects playings: Test out equipment, get a call for help, drive to the scene while listening to CDs, use a bullhorn to save others from danger, celebrate afterward with beers. Then again, another suggestion given, bikini waxing, also would've made for a, uh, different type of scene.
But this was about swimming with sharks.

Colin: "I've gotta tell you that, uh, you know, I've never swam with the sharks before, I'm...really...you hear my heart beat?"
Brendan: "Buh-bum-buh-bum-buh-bum-buh-bum-buh-bum"
Colin: "It sounds like the theme from Jaws!"
Brad: "You should see a neurologist."

I'm skipping around for this summary because, naturally, there's a lot of "you'd have to hear it to get it" material. The gist of the scene is that Brad made a protein shake for Colin to help calm him down, then, yes, they tested out equipment. They then drove out on their boat, presumably just to wherever they happened to know where sharks are? And while they were on the boat, they listened to CDs!

Colin: "Hey, the best of Pavarotti! I love Pavarotti."
Brad: "Me too."
Audience SFX: "OOH-ooh-OOH-ooh"
Brad: "Oh, a British ambulance just went by."
Colin: "Let me just turn up Pavarotti here."
Audience SFX: "OOH-OOH-OOOH-OOOH"
Colin: "Man, is he ever over-rated!"
Brad: "I've got one you'll like. Bruce Springsteen!"
Audience SFX: "..."
Brad: "I have to just turn it up."
Audience SFX: "..........(spoken) BORN IN THE U.S.A."
Brad: "That's the worst version of that song..."

The scene involved Colin bringing a sheep on the trip, for the sacrificing (I'm guessing for distracting the sharks, as opposed to ritualistic reasons). This lead to one of my favorite surreal, maybe unintentionally funny lines from Colin, "I'm just gonna put some scuba equipment on the sheep."
Colin: "You okay?"
Brendan: "Baaah."
Colin: "He's depressed."
Brad: "He's like Jacques Ewe-steau."
[many audience groans]

Colin: "I'll put the sheep in first."
ASFX: "Splash!"
Colin: "We must be in Obvious Ocean."

Brad: "Maybe we should swim over by this snorkeling kids."
Colin: "Kids? They shouldn't be here in shark-infested water!"
They then noticed, thanks to an accompanying sound, that there was a baby with the crowd.
Brad: "Who brings a baby snorkeling?"
Colin: "In a shark-infested ocean!"

So Brad decides to use the bullhorn (that he happened to have on his boat). At this point I couldn't figure out whether they were still underwater or swimming on the surface. Maybe it was a special underwater bullhorn. Brad's first two attempts were more lone, extended syllables than useful warnings, and the third was just "GET OUT!" But the fourth drove the message home:

Male ASFX: "Hey, you bastard kids! Get out of the water!"

The audience seemed to appreciate this remark. Anyway, I can't remember what / make out what lead to it, but Brad mentioned his floating pants.

Brad: "They inflate when I squeeze my butt cheeks together!"
Colin: "Don't feel you have to tell me everything..."
Brad: "You should see how I deflate them!"

Then at one point Brad and Colin find in the ocean a sea gerbil, which is officially my new favorite fictional animal. Brad: "You can find them on the coral reef, spinning on a little puffer fish!" Then they found a shark, who hummed his own theme music. Brad: "We're going to need a bigger boat!" So they would have to use the sheep.

Colin: "Oh, I feel bad about him being ripped to pieces by the shark just for..."
Brad: "To hell with it!"
Colin: "Hey, I raised this sheep since...he was small. He's very valuable to me. [he looks at the sheep] Aren't you?"
Brendan: "Yes."

Colin was shocked by this, as he never realized his sheep could talk! He couldn't feed it to the shark now. So Brad used one of his gadgets, the bang stick, to deal with the shark, but that just ended up pissing it off. So he then used the harpoon gun strapped to his back. That didn't work either, but luckily Colin had a wind-up torpedo. There was a loud "WHUMPF."

Colin: "That dog came right out of nowhere!"
Brad: "It's a Portuguese water-dog."

It must have worked against the shark, because Brad and Colin were then free to surface and get back to the boat.

Colin: "That was the most exciting time I've ever had in my life. The shark coming toward us, the Portuguese water-dog. It was amazing! (beat) Let's get drunk!"

Colin offered beer or champagne to Brad, who choose the beer. They ended the round with, yep, drinking and belching. This time, though, Brad announced, before doing it, that he would chug his beer, belch loudly, and then yodel. He did what fairly passed for those three things. After the game, Brad went back into the audience to get the microphone, asking along the way, "Who was the yodeler? Good job!" Someone else, though, told him, "I can do better than that." Brad called the claim and handed the microphone to a woman, who proceeded to do a better-than-the-last-person-but-not-terribly-brag-worthy yodel. Brad: "All of a sudden I want some instant cocoa." Someone in the audience near us, oddly, said what I think was "go to McDonald's." But Brad nor Colin heard or acknowledged the weird remark.

Interrogation / The Crime Game

Colin goes into the lobby (with a witness to prevent him from cheating) so that Brad can gather audience suggestions. The first part would be something unusual that he was wearing. The first suggestion (made while Brad was still talking) was a tutu, which I imagine is the list of most-often suggested items for this round. Brad continued by asking for "anything but women's lingerie," and choose yarmulke, followed by pasties. "He's wearing a yarmulke and pasties. That's a bar mitzvah I want to go to!" During this point I was hoping to get in the suggestion I had in mind, which was a pelican costume. When Brad proceeded to ask for the unusual crime, though, I was immediately ready as one of the two hand-raisers to get in first (Amanda being the other).

Brad: "Yes, you in the balcony at the end." [note: I had the aisle seat]
Me: "HE STRANGLED A PELICAN!"
Brad: "He strangled a pelican. (beat) Excellent!"

Thinking back, I wish I had suggested an even more unusual animal, like an ocelot (maybe I would specify Greg Proops's ocelot!) or a slow loris.
Colin committed another unusual crime, as well. One guy tried "he shaved everybody bald." But Brad declined it on the grounds that "We've done a lot of bald things relating to Colin, so...let's just take something that he's never heard before." So instead of that, Colin....milked a spider. I don't see how that's a crime, really, but I'll admit that it's a hard one for him to guess. Next was the location of the crime. Brad explained how he had been through Ohio a lot, so he wanted to hold out until he could get one hopefully difficult that he's never heard before. He went through Elyria, Wapakoneta (he remembered that they had used this one before), and Ontario ("Well, he lives in Toronto, Ontario, so uh..."), and Jelloway (sp?) Valley before settling on Walhonding. One woman near us tried Versailles repeatedly, though not very loudly. Maybe she was saying it more to herself than actually trying to get it used. Brad recapped at this point, and when he said "...when he strangled a penguin..." many were quick to correct him. He then asked for two things that were found at the scene of the crime. I heard "his finger," but Brad first noticed "jackalope." ("You've an evil woman.") Then someone tried "calculator," but Brad said, "That's a good one, but it's not weird enough." After that I heard someone say "spatula," and I wondered on what grounds is a spatula weirder than a calculator. But the second item would be a prosthetic leg. "Based on the audience reaction...I've learned that you're all kind of sick."

So: while wearing a yarmulke and pasties, Colin strangled a pelican and milked a spider in Walhonding, leaving behind a prosthetic leg and a jackalope.

As we waited for Colin to walk back, Brad plugged the show's Facebook page. No mention of their MySpace page, though. We continued to wait a few more seconds. "And, uh....he's left. Heading to Cleveland!" Some dude said something about a Brad Sherwood show. "The Brad Sherwood Show. Singing sonnets that I wrote in the bathroom." He counted on his fingers while making up one.: "There's no paper in here. What the hell am I to do. Oh, look, some nice curtains." Then Colin entered.

Brad began with his bad cop routine, talking down to Colin with insults. He asked Colin about what he was wearing.

Brad: "Just off the top of your head, you thought you'd try this out there?"
Colin: "Just...a nice big hat."
Brad: "Big?"
Colin: "A little hat."
Brad: "So, some sort of..."
Colin: "Hat."
Brad: "Now you're in the spirit of things."
Colin: "A ghost hat. It was a Jack Daniels hat."
Brad: "We can circle around all day."
Colin: "It was a...beanie."
Brad: "What kind of beanie?"
Colin: "A yarmulke."
Brad: "That's not all."
Colin: "No, I'd look silly just coming out with a yarmulke."
Brad: "Oh yeah. This didn't make you look silly at all. What kind of boob you are, to wander around. We're going to throw the book at you and the judge is going to make this stick."
Colin: (pause) "I was wearing pasties."
Brad: "Now let's talk about what you did. 'Cause this is just plain..."
Colin: "Wait. That's all I had on?"
Brad: "That's why this is so offensive!"

Brad berated him for how cruel and mean what he did was. Colin admitted, "It was cruel and mean, what I did to that poor, defenseless...animal?" Brad then said something which sounded like it could've been a clue, but if I was I don't get it. Something about the error of his ways. "Now let's talk about what kind of animal it was. Come on!" he shouted as he raised and lowered his arms quickly and broadly. Colin guessed that it was a big animal, and Brad continued to grill him while periodically flapping. Colin guessed ostrich. Brad excused himself to take his vitamins, then downed them by shaking his head and lower jaw wildly.

Colin: (pause) "A parrot."
Brad: "Oh! So some sort of..."
Colin: "Bird."

Brad knew that Colin was trying to "fish" for some alibi at this point, but that wouldn't hold water. This made Colin try eagle, flamingo and again parrot. Brad repeated his pill-taking bit.

Brad: "Well? I don't need to shore up your alibi, my friend, but you need to start talking right now. Or I will stick my fist so far down your gullet."
Colin: "Pelican."

Brad asked what was done to the pelican. "I don't know why you would do this, but it's not right. When I think of when I saw that pelican at the vet, and I saw him, I...(sigh) Those animals are ... really ... it just..."
Colin: I sent them to a bad acting class."

Brad continued to describe how emotionally overcome he was. Colin figured out that he choked the pelican, then clarified to "strangled."

Colin: "I love to multitask."
Brad: "But what else did you do, since you were hell-bent to torture and abuse helpless..."
Colin: "I did something, uh, different from that."
Brad: "You are an utter [something I can't make out]
Colin: "I massaged a cow."
Brad: "Cow, this has nothing to do with a cow."
Colin: (pause) "...oops."
Brad: "Listen, before you kick the bucket, why don't you tell me what you did. I don't have all day. I don't want to squeeze it out of you."
Colin: "I milked something."
Brad: "Why don't you tell me what? Make this simple on all of us."
Colin: "I'm hoping it's an animal."
Brad: "Not really."
Colin: "............a...statue."
Brad: "I'll add that to your charges."
Colin: "It's not easy to milk a statue when you're strangling a pelican."
Brad: "It makes my skin crawl even to think -"
Colin: "A snake."
Brad: "What?"
Colin: "It's hard 'cause it's so close to the ground! To get under there! You ever try to milk a snake? It's nuts!"
Brad: "You're milking the wrong snake if it's got nuts!"
Colin: "So I milked something."
Brad: "But it's also close to the ground. It makes my skin crawl to think - I said that already."
Colin: "Yeah. A spider."
Brad: "What?"
Colin: "Yeah, I milked a spider. With a little bucket."

Brad then had Colin what he had gotten so far, which he did successfully. Then it was time to discuss the location of the time.

Brad: "We'll talk about this place, and I want you to...before I do that, why don't you just plug your ears for just a second?"

Brad hurried off of the stage and stepped back into the audience to the young man from whom he had said "Walhonding." They whispered to each other. Brad went back onstage.

Brad: "All right. Let's talk about this place."
Colin: "Maybe you should take some vitamins to help that memory loss."

Brad tried to get Colin to say the entire name in one guess. "The first part is what you right now have your back against, being in this predicament. The second part is my favorite...cute blonde...cute blonde's last name from Laugh-In. The last part...is the sound your microwave makes when your popcorn is done. Put those all together, once again...what you have your back against, followed by the cute blonde on Laugh-In, followed by the sound...the microwave makes when you're done. Put it all together, and you have..."
Colin: "Wall-Hahn-Ding."
Brad: "That's right, Walhonding."
Colin: "Boy, that's hard to remember."
Brad: "If it hadn't taken me an ice age to say pelican, we would've been there."

Brad introduced Colin to the evidence left at the scene. "Another poor, defenseless..."
Colin: "A bit of a theme in my crime."
Brad: "Yes. And this was an unusual...thing. Like not all one thing. A combo platter."
Colin: "It's a platypus."
Brad: "No."
Colin: "It kind of looks like it in this light."

Brad talked about how it was seemingly two things at once, sort of a hare-raising thing to look at. "If you get my point, buck. I can't give you any more clues; you have to go stag on this one." Colin identified the antlers, and thought it was a deer. Brad hypothesized that Colin might have been trying to take its foot off for good luck. This seemed to puzzle Colin a bit. Brad then did something to raise Colin's seat (get it?), then mentioned how he and his girlfriend were getting married and not telling anyone (eh? eh?). "It's a ... hare-telope."
Brad: "Yes, it's a hare-telope! The fabled hare-telope!"
Colin: "Half-deer, half-rabbit."
Brad: "That's exactly what this is! Only it's not called a hare-telope, you...you ass!"
Colin: "Jackalope!"

Brad: "Now let's talk about this last thing here. Which is quite frankly ironic, 'cause with your lame alibi, you don't have one to stand on. I see right through you. You're a fake! Come on! Let's strap in testify to the entire crime! I know some of the things I said might've stumped you, but now! Put one foot in front of the other and tell me what you did."
Colin: "While wearing a yarmulke and pasties, I strangled a pelican while milking a spider in Walhonding with a jackalope and a prosthetic leg."

As Colin and Brad sat on the stools with their microphone, I realized Mousetraps would not be played that night. Since I had seen it live twice already and it mostly the same thing each time, I was mostly okkay with this. I was only disappointed in that I wouldn't get to see it from above the stage for once. I also would have liked to see Sentences - but do they play it anymore? I'm glad that I was able to see Jeopardy! and the multi-participatory Sound Effects, though, so I don't mean to complain.
The duo thanked the audience and talked about what a magical night it was, and how great it would be if there was some way to remember it for the rest of their lives...

Ending Song (My Way)

Brad: And now, the end is near, so we face the final curtain*
You've laughed and sat so long that both your face and ass are hurtin'*
We tried to make you smile, and will come back, so keep your eyes peeled
On this night, this magic night, right here in Mansfield!

Colin: Moving Bodies, we started out, ha ha, our volunteers we knew, wouldn't fail ya
My guy twisted me round, I think he bruised my genitalia
Jeopardy!, well that was fun, though at times, it got quite absur-hurd
But we learned, that cat...is a three-syllable word

Brad: Well, that was fun, I've realized
And I think Bill needs to be tranquilized
He was so strained, and really lost control
And in our Torture Game, I packed meat in your hole!
That was fun, we're number one
Right here in -

Both: Maaansfiiieeld!

Colin: Sound Effects, that was fun, that was really...quite (deceiving?)
Hey, it was so weird, when I had to...gargle with your urine
And Crime took a long time, you had to work time to make me si-ing
Pelican took a long, long time but you forgot Walhonding

Brad: So now we hope you've realized*
That our whole show is completely improvised*
We made it up, because we could*
Oh yes, we're just that friggin' good!*
[a line I don't remember]
We have to go
We love you -

Both: Maaaaaaansfiieeeeld!

*(not improvised, tsk)

In conclusion

I didn't record the first show I saw (partly because I didn't think I'd get away with it, but also because I was skeptical that it would record well), but I did record the Lakeside show using a digital audio recorder. That came out surprisingly well, and it helped tremendously for my recap. Because said recording device has since mysteriously been unable to record anything (but it stills plays what's already on it, thankfully) I went with the older-fashioned audio cassette recorder, which did the job well enough. I used a 120-minute tape and flipped it during the applause after the third game, and it filled up almost perfectly - I only missed the last few lines of the song as the tape ran out.

So even though there was a lot of material that we had already seen, we still enjoyed the show. In a way, it sort of helped us appreciate the parts that we hadn't seen, because we knew it was probably truly made up on the spot. So even after three shows, I would still totally look forward to a fourth.

Thank you for reading this incredibly long post that took me a week to write!

Greg Proops article

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 10:16:09 GMT

Greg Proops dispels 4 Greg Proops misconceptions"

... Like sometimes there’d be a female bodybuilder or a girl with a snake or fuckin’ Jerry Springer or something, and I always felt slightly insulted, like, “Are you kidding? I’m making stuff up off the top of my head here, with no script, and you bring out Jerry Springer?” ...

Whose Line is it Anyway? DVD News Update!

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:04:14 GMT

So the good news is that there will be a new uncensored DVD release this June!

The bad news is that the episodes were selected based on gay jokes, celebrity appearances, and kissing moments!

Hoo...ray?

[tvshowsondvd.com article]

Well it's better than no release for this year at all. It's just a shame that the show is to represented this way.

Old Christmas special trailers

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 02:10:38 GMT

Colin Mochrie update

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 19:01:12 GMT

Canadian comedian Colin Mochrie, known for his antics on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, will massage a chicken's shoulders and shout inspirational messages at an alpaca as a motivational coach..."

Mike McShane on Just a Minute

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:12:58 GMT

[Cross-posted to the Idiotsite board)

It's not often we hear an American on JAM!

I missed its original airing because I was a bit out of touch and didn't realize the new series had started a few weeks ago. Luckily, his first show (along with the others in the new series) has been made available for download here, thanks to "helmethead." Mike's is the one labeled with "Edinburgh Festival."

Colin's Best Story Ever (video)

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 20:15:50 GMT

http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/videos.html?id=623361733

Idiotchat log - I'm Sorry I Haven't a Huz [Pilot episode]

Thu, 08 May 2008 22:18:49 GMT

My connection had a few hiccups, so there may be bits unintentionally left out of this transcript.

Tue, 06 May 2008 20:11:58 GMT

Ah-ha! I've found something that links Whose Line with They Might Be Giants.

Also, there's this:

Downloadable things to listen to

Fri, 02 May 2008 14:49:34 GMT

Since I've postponed (you never hear of things being preponed, do you? Though nowadays a lot of people seem to get pwned) posting these, they may or may not be old news to some of you.

Back in late March, Greg Proops was on BlogTalkRadio with Olivia Wilder. The show is two hours long, but since Greg was late for the show, the first forty-something minutes are pretty much the host complaining about Greg not showing up. I'd say feel to free to skip that chunk, though she does at one point play a clip that seems to be from one of Greg's new albums. If you're a Greg fan, you're bound to enjoy the hour-and-fifteenish minutes of just chatting.

Also, Colin Mochrie was on a later Olivia Wilder show. What more can you ask for than two hours of Colin talking and answering live-chat fan questions?

Clive Anderson has a news podcast for the Telegraph website. It's mostly serious news with a few dashes of Clive-style humor thrown in. Each "show" is around twenty minutes long.

Drew Carey was a guest on this week's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! There are only a few days left to download the episode or listen to it online, though.

That's all I can remember at the moment.

A(nother) nauseatingly extensive Whose Line DVD review (Volume 2)

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 23:57:22 GMT

Whose Line is it Anyway? Season 1, Volume 2 has been released. This completes the first season, as there were only twenty episodes in the first season and the second volume contains the remaining ten. If you had to choose between volume 1 and 2, I would recommend 2, because I think the latter half of the season is more memorable and fun to watch. Highlight include the Emmy-submitted episode 119 with the Going Bald Hoedown, appearances by Ian Gomez and Stephen Colbert, Brad's Songs of the Ant Farmer, Wayne's first song to a man, and the episode with Greg and Denny.

So, for this release, improvements have been made. Bleeped stuff is actually unbleeped (though it wouldn't bother me a whole lot otherwise, I admit it is interested to hear the dialog uncovered). In the second half of the first season, there were three bleeps, and two of those are uncensored on this release: Ryan's "They're-never-going-to-allow-that" comment in Narrate at a pizza place, and Wayne's use of an L-word in the Birth Hoedown. This does make me look forward to future releases, to hopefully hear things that we couldn't figure out on our own.

Both DVDs in this release include bonus material. The first has four previously unaired games (well, one is a chunk of a game) and the second five games (one also kind of being a chunk).

I still wish the set came with an episode guide. It's not too much to ask for, is it? I mean, shows on DVD that don't need episode guides get episode guides. Not only do I have to consult an outside source or memorize the episode numbers to find the episode I want, but I have to figure out on which disc it would be! And I have to memorize which cut games are on which DVD as well. Nothing fancy, a black-and-white plain text sheet of paper would have sufficed.

The menu graphics are still a bit lame, but whatever.

The previous release had closed-captioning but no English subtitles; this one has English subtitles but no closed-captioning. The subtitles use the performers' surnames instead of their first names for some reason. Also, a trivial observation: In one playing of Telethon, the subtitles label an impression Brad does as "Willie Nelson," but in another playing Brad does the same impression but the subtitles say "Neil Young." Scott's website has it down as Garth Brooks. For the record, I'm convinced it's supposed to be Willie Nelson.

The French and Spanish subtitles are gone this time around, though. As I mentioned in my previous review, I actually found it interesting to see how certain things were translated, and I'm a bit disappointed that I can't do that for these episodes.

W
H
O
S
E

L
I
N
E

D
V
D

S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S

A while back I had read a few season 1 taping reports because I had assumed that, well, I wouldn't see anything that didn't go to air in the future. It turns out I was wrong, because a lot of the funniest moments that I read about turned up on this DVD (not so much the case for volume 1, oddly). So even though I enjoyed the extra features on the discs, I bet I would've enjoyed them even more if I hadn't spoiled them for myself.

General observation: Most of volume 1's extra games were "naughty, couldn't-be-aired-on-TV games. I don't think any of the extra games on volume 2 are noticeably raunchy.

DISC 1!

Greatest Hits #1: The Colin/Ryan banter is funny, and Wayne's songs could've been better.

Whose Line: A short but not-bad playing. My favorite part was the audience reaction to Ryan's farmer line. Note that no playings of Whose Line actually aired on ABC until the second season.

Let's Make a Date: Stephen Colbert definitely does Shakespeare better than Ryan Stiles, but I guess that's not saying much. I wonder if this game was included just because Stephen is more popular now. Anyway, this game gets two ticks on the "Kissing on Whose Line" list.

Sound Effects: I really like how the DVD version shows the little window with Ryan throughout. I kind of wish it was done that way on the show itself. This playing is a good example of a game being excluded due to it just not working as well.

Gag Reels: I like the gag reels, I really do, BUT I hope that they're a bit shorter if in future sets. How many times do we have to see someone screw up a Hoedown? How many times do we have to see a clip that shows one of the performers swearing and nothing else? These gag reels even repeat some of the jokes already seen in volume 1's, too! I like pretty much everything else, though. Just trim the fat, please.
Greg's Puberty Hoedown was great.
Did you notice how Drew announced the winners for one of the games (Dating Service Video), but he wasn't playing it?

DISC 2!

Superheroes: Greg portrays Trout Man as no one else could. In one of the episodes on this DVD, Greg as a crazed James Bond villain threatens to fondue the world. I always thought it was a weird thing Greg had thought up on his own, but it turns out that he was referencing this game (from the same taping)!

Stand, Sit, Lie: As funny as any other playing. Note that this game wasn't played in any of the season 1 episodes.

Questions Only: I'm glad at least one Drew game was included.

Moving People: A funnier-than-average playing, mostly because of the scene. It seems the game is funnier in concept when the scene requires the performers to do things quickly, and this is a good example of that.

Greatest Hits #2: I wish there were more musical games included as extra games because they have, for me at least, more replay value. So it's a bit disappointing that there weren't many songs in this one, and that the few weren't outstanding. Oh, well.

Gag reel #2: Did you notice that Drew says that Brad has a five-second memory, though in the actual episode Colin had that quirk? Was it changed or did Drew mess up?
The Bergman/Biiiirdman bit is better appreciate when it's connected to the scene given in that playing of Film & Theatre Styles.
Apparently a Daytime Talk Show about Hey Diddle Diddle was done...even though the same was done on the British version! With three of the same people playing in the same positions! And it was only like a couple of years prior!
Apparently there was a playing of Weird Newcasters with Ryan as the co-anchor and Colin as the weather guy! And apparently there was a Drew game for which Ryan sat at the desk!
Happy Waldo and the Salty Monkey. Indeed.
Why couldn't we see the context of the Dan Patterson pie incident?

So yeah, even if I may have seemed negative, it is quite neat, and I would recommend it.

Playskool Advertising Meeting

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:47:57 GMT

(this post done in the style of Simon Rich)

-"So, we're ready to start a new line of commercials, but we were thinking that, instead of using a nobody, we could maybe use a celebrity guest."
-"I'm not sure if it's in the budget..."
-"Well, not an A-lister obviously. Someone relatively obscure, but still recognizable. I was thinking, as a suggestion, Ryan Stiles. He has two kids*, and he has experience doing commercials."
-"The name rings a bell, but...remind me, what's he from again?"
-"I think most people would know him from The Drew Carey Show."
-"I never really watched that one. What kind of character does he play?"
-"A weird, creepy, lonely sexual deviant with psychopathic tendencies."
-"Uh...huh."
-"Oh, he's also on that show Who's Line is it Anyways."
-"I love that show! He's the bald guy, right?"
-"No, he's the tall guy."
-"You mean the surly bitter one?"
-"Yeah."
-"...who makes dirty jokes all the time and gets bleeped the most?"
-"Yeah, him."
-"Oh."
-"Yep."
-"Okay then. Let's make some toy commercials.

*I think Ryan has three kids, but I'm not sure (go ask a real Ryan fan), so let's imagine this person is just not up-to-date anyway.

Whose Line is it Anyway? Season 1, Volume 2 on DVD

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 16:38:30 GMT

How did I forget to mention this on this LiveJournal?

October 9th, 2007

Includes Stephen Colbert's first episode.

May I kindly request no complaints about the timespan between these two releases? Thank you.

An Evening With Colin and Brad - Lakeside, OH - July 14th, 2007

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 23:49:32 GMT

Short version: The show was awesome (not as awesome as the previous one, but still awesome) and I managed to record it (audio-wise). Long version: .

DISCLAIMER: I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY SHIFTS FROM PAST TENSE TO PRESENT TENSE AND/OR VICE-VERSA

Amanda and I arrived at the venue about an hour before the show, and the outside was already littered with several people waiting. When the doors opened, I was surprised and pleased to see that not everyone chose the closest seats they could get. We managed to get the third row from the front on the left side. This would turn out to be a great place to record. I mostly recorded it for the sake of being able to reference it for the inevitable write-up (which you're reading now), but I don't know if I'll have the patience to transcribe the entire show, but at least I'll be able to write up the best bits with great accuracy. I might upload some of it for certain people. Though the sound quality is surprisingly satisfactory, it's probably easier for me to make out what's being said than it would be for anyone who hasn't seen the shown and doesn't already know what was said. Does that make sense? Also, I wouldn't want the audience-drowned audio to represent the show for those who haven't seen Colin & Brad live before. See it for yourself, please. If you can. But if you have seen AEWCAB or don't think you ever will, and are someone that I consider to be generally friendly, feel free to ask me for MP3s via e-mail or whatever.

What made this show a bit unique is the fact that Lakeside is a Methodist church-based gated community. This is probably why the show was cleaner than the last show, and presumably most, Col and Brad shows. Usually Colin introduces the show by asking if anyone ever thought that the performers on Whose Line had preparation and that the show wasn't actually improvised, then after waiting for the response (in this particular show, there seemed to be only a small crowd of in the back who responded), calls those people bastards. This time, however, Colin's follow-up was the cleaner (but arguably cleverer) "Well I don't believe in you people either." They also made the same introductory comments that they do in every show and that you can probably read about in other reviews.

Brad was smart enough to make a venue-specific joke in the introduction. "Thank you so much for coming out to see us, we know the golf cart traffic to get here was terrible. There was a three-cart pile-up." He complimented the beautiful homes: "I actually wanted to go on a tour on a golf cart and see them all, but couldn't steal one. (pause) True story. (Colin: Yeah)."

Evidently every seat was filled, and there were actually a few people sitting in the windows watching the show. After noticing, Brad of course couldn't of course pass up the chance to joke about it. "Hey Charlie! Care for some apple cider?" ...Okay, maybe you had to be there.

Moving People

The "volunteers" for Moving People were Tracy and Kevin. One of the other recurring gags is that Colin demonstrates how the volunteers can move Brad. Colin points out that one can tap the back of Brad's knees to make him walk, push his head to make it turn, or if they want him to follow them home they can touch Brad below the belt. In this cleaner show, Colin said, "...if you want him to follow you home, just tickle him under the chin." The suggested European country was Germany and the profession was a contractor-type job. Colin: "This pretty much writes itself." Their accent started reasonable German, though Brad's lapsed into his French and Colin's ended up turning into the accent he uses for everything. Brad: "By the way, if you see my German accent anywhere..." If you've seen enough Whose Line, you know what I mean. The highlight of the game was Brad's participant Tracy rapidly tapping the back of his legs, causing Brad to react with a comic shuffling walk. The scene called for a moped (doesn't it always?) so Kevin used one of the stools on stage as the appropriate prop. Kevin and Tracy pulled a Richard Simmons by basically trying to get Colin and Brad into embracing positions through most of the game.
Colin:"Hold on, because this baby can really fly!" (Brad is then squeezed onto the stool very, very closely behind Colin) "Hold on with your hands!" Brad: "I just thought I'd hold on with my inner thigh." Then Brad a little later: "I have, by the way, found the most painful way to sit on a stool!"
Near the end of the game Brad and Colin decided to celebrate with a drink. Brad: "Clink, as they say on Hogan's Heroes." Kevin messed up by lifting the drink far above Colin's mouth. "It's so much easier when I put this hole at the top of my head. Then I can still talk and drink a lot. Brad: "I always thought you drank like you had a hole in your head." Another embrace. Colin: "You are so easy after one drink." Brad's head is rested on Colin's shoulder. "Sing to me like the Van Trapp kids." Colin sings some, "...and those are the only words I know..." Brad's hands cover his ears. Colin asks Brad if he didn't like it. Brad: "You made it ugly." After the scene finished, Brad reference the back-of-the-leg tapping, comparing it to "Ricky Ricardo on the conga drums."

New Choice

Three kids, Jacob, Maria and Anna, were chosen for this game. Brad somehow knew it was Jacob's birthday. Brad asked him what he wants to do what he grows up. "You don't know. Excellent. That's a good start. What do you like? What are your favorite things? Soccer. Anything else? Nope. That's it. Just soccer. Any other words to describe yourself? Nope." Brad and Colin then did a song about him.

"This is your birthday song
It isn't very long."

Though Jacob and one of the girls' horns made identical sounds, the other girl's honk was different for some reason. Brad: "You didn't get the memo?" He asked one of the girls for something that they love, besides food and candy. She answered with volleyball. "A very athletic group." The other girl said that she liked to sing. As if three suggestions wasn't enough, Brad again used the phone book, allowing Jacob to randomly choose a page. "Churches!" (uproarious laughter and applause) Nothing says comedy like doing a church-based scene in front of very religious people!"
For the scene, Colin managed to incorporate three of the suggestions by asking Colin to sing for the church volleyball team. "We want you to sing the national anthem at our next game. (honk) And we would like you to sing a song P. Diddy at the next..."
Brad: "I've written a hymn in honor of the volleyball team named The Saintly Spikers. (honk) Named the Holy-Rolling Net-Slammers. (honk) Named Our Lord's Serve-ice." (one of my favorite lines of the night)

Brad: "Name an instrument, I can play anything."
Colin: "How about trumpet? (honk) How about French horn? (honk) Cymbals? (honk) The flute?" Throughout the list, Brad is making motions, encouraging the kids to continue honking. "No dancing, please."

Brad: "You know, we need a mascot. What's your favorite type of animal?"
Colin: "Well I thought our volleyball team should have a mascot of a giant tiger. (honk)
A possum. (honk) A giraffe. (honk) A puma. (honk) Three penguins. (honk) A polar bear. (honk) An emu. (honk) I don't really care. (honk) I do care. I care more than life itself. (honk) Why don't you make a suggestion?"

Colin: "We'd like a state-of-the-art volleyball stadium."
Brad: "Well, I have blueprints for them right there. (honk) Well I have written on an Etch-a-Sketch...(honk) I - a postage stamp - I've painted on a grain of rice the entire blueprint for our future religious volleyball [something I can't make out] (honk) I have on my inner eyelid a tattoo - (honk) At the bottom of my shoe, in gum and Indian ink I have etched and carved what our stadium will look like."
Colin: "Heard of paper? You're an idiot."

Brad: "Are you hungry? I was going to make myself a tuna fish sandwich. (honk) Would you like a BLT? (honk) Monte Cristo? (honk) Hoagie? (honk) Pirogi? (honk) [something] Roll? (honk) Meatball sub? [something else]? Philly cheese steak?"
Colin: "Go on."

Colin: "I'm too busy thinking about our team. (honk) I'm too busy thinking about....why did theyyy...(Colinesque stall)
Brad: "Spit it out, man. (honk) Up with it! (honk) What's the matter, cat got your tongue? (honk) What's the matter, albatross got your uvula? (honk) What's the matter, wolverine got your larynx?"
Colin: "Yes. (honk) No, no, that would be silly. (honk) Hahahahaha!"

One of the horns gives a funny sound while attempting to change a line.
Colin: "I have a little gas, I'm sorry."
Brad: "Perhaps you'd like some Di-Gel. (honk) Perhaps you'd like a new horn that doesn't have asthma."

Colin: "What I would like is to raise money using the volleyball team and a bake sale. (honk) I'd like to raise money uh, using, an...building of a house with plasticine ... (honk) I'd like to raise money by inviting the entire town to see us hang three children with horns by the thumbs."

Brad: "Listen, I say we do a big charity walk to earn money for the volleyball team. I say we have a small dance contest to raise capital for the sporting(esque?) people. (honk) I say we have a bake sale and a raffle to collect ducats for the people who wear tight shorts and slam the ball. (honk) I say you give me your ATM pin number, and your card, and I go to Barbados."
Colin: "How does that help the church? (honk) Sounds like a great idea!" [The game ends]

After the game, Brad tested the odd horn, but it seemed to work fine for him.

The Crime Game

This time Brad has to guess while Colin gets the clues and gives them to Brad. Brad leaves the auditorium with a witness chosen from the audience. Colin remarks, "Yes, a lovely young woman always a good choice. Funny how often that happens." Colin asks the audience to raise their hands before making suggestions, but halfway through people started ignoring this rule and shouted suggestions were taken anyway. Colin asks the audience to think outside the realm of normal. He uses an example of a recent crime used at another show: "While shaving a three-legged Scottish sheep with a hockey stick, he had to juggle three flaming, uh, chainsaws, with a midget choreographer." I actually think that sounds like Colin would think of himself. The first part of the game was suggested by none other than Amanda! "Birthed a goat in a restaurant." "This is the kind of stuff we're looking for," Colin commented. I would've said "strangled a diplomatic weasel." There was another suggestion that I can't remember/hear on the recorder that Colin passed because they had done it before. Though Colin was asking for another crime, the next suggestion taken was "he was in a Sailor Moon costume," which is interesting because Colin would've asked for what Brad was wearing later anyway. Perhaps that particular audience member knew what to expect in this game? Colin: "He was in a Sailor Moon costume? Yeah, that's a good reference for Brad." Colin asked for something else Brad was wearing, which turned out to be Q-tips in his ears. I was ready to say "weasel costume" if I had been called upon. The next part was an unusual weapon, and though I had "robotic weasel" in mind, food processor was used. Then he needed a location name with a lot of syllables (he used Chautauqua as an example), and he took Wapakoneta. Next part, an unusual place of business (example: Boris Yeltsin's taxidermy), which ended up being the Bermuda Triangle condo sales. The last part was an object of any kind: a shoelace. Then Brad was brought back in. Colin: "Detective, did he hear anything?" Witness: "No." Colin: "Darn."

Part 1 (Birthed a goat in a restaurant): Brad tried to confess immediately. "While in Lakeside, I threw a television in the lake."

Colin: "No. That would almost make sense."
Brad: "I flattened the tires of a golf cart."
Colin: "No."
Brad: "And I'd do it again."

Colin's clues were about pushing his men and how his contracts were almost up. Brad got the birth part. A pun about "kidding around" helped Brad get the goat part. Colin mentioned he had done it in a vegetarian place, and Brad soon got the restaurant portion.

Part 2 (Sailor Moon costume): Colin commented how the way he dressed was pretty girly, then did a Popeye impression. This lead Brad to think he was dressed as Olive Oyl, then as Popeye the Sailor Woman. Colin highlighted the "sailor" part. Colin then showed his disgust at how Brad pulled down his pants and showed his naked buttock in front of the window, "like it was the 50's or something."

Brad: "I...dressed like a female moon sailor?"
Colin: "What if you were dyslexic?"
Brad: "Sailor Moon."
Colin: "Should've had kids."
Brad: "I had a goat."
Colin: "So you were...?"
Brad: "Dressed like a ... Sailor Moon. What the heck is a Sailor Moon?"
Colin: "She's a superhero. Her and her friends, Sailor...Mars and Venus."

Brad: "I gave birth to a goat wearing a Sailor Moon costume."
Colin: "No, the goat was not wearing a Sailor Moon costume."
Brad: "I - in a restaurant - I was - I gave birth to a restaurant - No! I was ba-a-ad."

Brad: "And then I turned on the air conditioning in the auditorium."

Part 3 (Q-tips in his ears): Colin's clues included "I want you to listen, if you can do that" and "Oh no, my candles. The wax is dripping all over the place. How will I get that wax out?" Brad got this part right away. "I put Q-tips in my ears. It saves me the time of having to reach for them."

Part 4 (food processor): This featured "blend in," "whip," and "grind" puns. Also, "Hmm, that's something for thought, isn't it? (pause) You're not the sharpest blade in the drawer. I bet you think you're a real cut-up!" Brad thought knife, which prompted from Colin "Welcome to the age of electricity." Brad quickly thought of food processor.

Part 5 (Wapakoneta): Colin gave Brad an imaginary atlas. Brad tried guessing right away. "Chautauqua?"(No.) As Colin continue to talk, Brad kept guessing various Ohio city/county names. Colin: "It would be so great if you said it, but no."

Colin: "The first part is like you start off with your John Wayne impression. Then you follow up with your female parent, or male parent, if you were on a farm. And you quickly follow that wit a metal container - it may have paint in it, for example, or...baked beans."
Brad: "Wapakoneta?"
[impressed reaction from the audience]

Part 6 (Bermuda Triangle condo sales):
Colin: "Now the restaurant was part of this bigger complex, right there in the Yellow Pages."
Brad: "There's a place of business too?" (there wasn't a place of business part of the crime in the last show I saw)

Colin told Brad that there was a chance they might not get out. "Now, maybe you think I'm square. I've been going around in circles trying to get you to - to tell me what you've been doing, and I guess the shortest point between two points is a straight line. As my friend, Sergeant Isosceles once told me..."
Brad: "The Bermuda Triangle!"
Colin: "You know, I'm starting to like you. I'm so glad we could share this time together." Brad got this one easily as well.

Part 7 (Shoelace): Colin had a bit of trouble with this one. "Now this actually tied you to the case. You...certainly tripped up. But...[paces around]...now...we have...all right. [Colinesque stalling]"
"You had us almost in knots, trying to figure out exactly what was going on here. But then, just like a needle, threading into the little hole, we figured out exactly what you did. [pause] We certainly went through a lot of shoe leather following leads on this. [another pause]" "Brad: "That's it?" Brad then summed up the entire crime, correctly identifying the last part as a shoelace.

Sound Effects

Colin walked down from the stage and in front of the audience and pointed out two people sitting directly in front of me. At first I thought he had chosen Amanda and me, which caused my heart to jump a little. Maybe next time! Laura did sound effects for Brad and Michael did sound effects for Colin. For practice, Laura was asked to make the sound of a squeaky door, and she did so very well. Brad: "Perfect!" Colin: "Alright, Michael, the bar has been raised." Michael was asked to try the sound of a beer can that had shaken, to which Michael said, "Scrit." Brad was glad that he Laura was his selection. Colin asked the audience for a dangerous occupation, like a skydiver or a window washer. The used suggestion came from...me!

Me: "WEASEL HUNTER!"
Colin: "I'm pretty sure we've never had 'weasel hunter...'

Sure, you'd think that's enough on which to base a scene, but they usually combine two elements for this game for some reason, so the phone book was consulted again. The second element was the ever-hilarious idea of drapery cleaners. I won't bother explaining as many of the jokes in this game, just because most of them only make sense if you could hear the sound being made. As the scene began, Brad turned on his sewing machine, with an excellent sound from Laura to match.

Colin: "Hey! You want a cappuccino? "
Brad: "Sure."
Colin: "I don't drink beer."

The cappuccino machine made a POP sound, a bit like the sound you get when you pull your finger out of your mouth in that certain way (which may have been what Michael did). Colin explained that the cup was very small. Brad drank the cappuccino with a "gul-gul-gul-gul-gul-gul."

Colin: "It's really hot too."
Brad: "I shouldn't chug scolding hot liquid."

As in (it seems) every Sound Effects game they do at their show, the scene would revolve around calling old man Henderson and solving some sort of problem at his house. You would think Colin would at least think of a different name for each show, but whatever. This night, it turned out there was a weasel infestation at the Henderson place, and that they had to clean his drapes as well. Brad: "Who ever thought when we opened Windows and Weasels..."
Colin then showed off the new equipment he got from Weasel Inc, starting with the Weasel Whip (I laugh more than I should pretty much each time they say "weasel"). They also demonstrate a tranquilizer gun, a weasel Taser and a new steamer for the drapes.
Colin cues Mr. Henderson's call, hinting heavily to Michael. "RiIING!" Michael says.
Colin: "Hello? (Michael: "Hello?") Hi, Mr. Henderson, is that you? ("Um, okay.")" I think this is when Colin made a "drinking" gesture to Brad. This is another cleaned-up joke - at my last show, Colin mimed joint-smoking. "Uh, you want us to come over and, uh, clean the draperies and get rid of those weasels for you? ("No. I like the weasels.") Is Mrs. Henderson there? ("Yes, speaking," in a womanish voice) Can we come and clean the weasels? (It seems that's what he said) Your husband seems a little under the weather. ("My husband is a weasel.") Brad added, "We don't do psychological evaluations."
After Colin and Brad "hit the road," Colin put on a Johnny Cash CD. This was another recurring theme that they seem to do in every Sound Effects playing - playing music by specific artists. Michael had nothing to do for this. Then Colin tried Elton John, and Michael half-heartedly sung, "Rocket Man." Not the song, just those two words. "He sounds really gay on this one," Colin said. Brad then wanted to listen to ABBA, particularly his favorite, "Dancing Queen." Laura was flummoxed at first, but shortly after Brad tossed the CD away, she sung it confidently. Colin: "It works better in the backseat." Brad: "The backseat actually plays the CD better than the CD player!" When they arrived at the Henderson place, Brad explained that he would use the weasel mating call to attract the weasels. As Brad cupped his hands in front of his mouth in the way that one would for a bird call, Laura shouted, "Here, weasel weasel weasel! Here weasel, weasel weasel weasel weasel weasel weasel weasel!" Colin used the flare gun and, just as in previous C&B SFX, the Henderson roof catches fire. Colin calls 911, but the beeps of his phone are irregular, so he ends up calling 973.

Michael: "Hello?"
Colin: "Hello, 911?"
Michael: "What's your emergency?"
Colin: "There's a fire over at the Henderson place."
Michael: "Well, you'd better call the fire department."
Brad: "That's what you get for calling 973! Here, I'll call 911."
Laura: "Beep, beep, beep. Rrrring. Rrrrring."
Colin: "No one's answering?"
Laura: "911, what's your emergency?"
Brad: "Uh, there's a fire?"
Laura: "Did you call the fire department first?"
Brad: "We called 973, and they told us to call first the fire department, we thought we could get them through 911, is there a better number?"
Laura: "Let me transfer you to the fire department."
Brad: "Thank you."
Laura: "That's 411."
Brad: "411, excellent. Good to know."
Colin: "I thought 411 was information."
Brad: (whispers) "Don't ask questions!"
Laura: "Fire department."
Brad: "Yes, I was looking - oh hey, oh fire department! We have a fire at the Hendersons' place."
Laura: "Is it junior or senior Henderson place?"
Brad: "Uhhh. Which one drinks and smokes?"
Laura: "They both do."
Brad: "Which one has the weasel problem?"
Laura: "They both do."
Brad: "Oh. Which one, ehhhh..."
Colin: "Should we maybe put it out ourselves?"
Brad: "What color is the senior's house?"
Laura: "They both have white houses, sir. North or south side, sir?"
Brad: "South side."
Laura: "Well that could be either one as well."
Brad: "Oh. Can you send half the fire department to each one?"

Laura the 911 operator says that they can. After Brad ends his call, Colin calls 973 again. Michael: "Hello?" Colin: "911 does way better than you do!" He closes his phone. Colin turns his attention back to the burning building. "Oh, the Hendrix (he seems to change their name at this point, unless he's just saying it really quickly) - Mr. and Mrs. Hendrix, they're probably still in there...probably half drunk and stoned!" Brad suggests the asbestos-made weasel snare, but Colin suggests instead the bullhorn (another recurring C&BSFX theme). "Whatever, 973 dialer!" Brad says. So Brad tries the bullhorn first, shouting (with Laura's deepened, slowed-down voice), "Heyyy Mr. Henderson! Are you drunk? There's a fire, get out! The weasels are looking for you too!" Colin's turn is next. "Help!" Brad makes fun of him, Colin's excuse is that he panicked. So Colin tries again. "Get out now!" Michael's voice bellows. "That's much better, I thought." Colin admits. "Oh, yeah, that's certainly fraught with urgency." Brad says. Brad takes the bullhorn again. "Hey Mr. Henderson! Get out of the house, there's a fire! The weasels are getting after you!" Colin imitates a scared western character in response. "There's gonna be a gunfight at the sheriff's town!" Brad: "It's better than 'get out!'" So Colin decides they should use the weasel net. Then some hard-to-make-out stuff happens. They ultimately put out the fire.

Brad: "Good job. I'm exhausted. Now I don't want to put up any drapes.
Colin: "Yeah, we shouldn't hunt weasels or do drapes. I think we did enough just burning their house down."

The final staple of the Colin and Brad Sound Effects game is to end with a drink and a belching contest. Colin asks Brad to open his, and Laura does a better sound for the can opening. Colin/Michael's belch is so-so, though Brad/Laura's is a long chug followed by the tiniest tap of a burp. And that's always the best way to end a game, right? After the game, Colin says that it was one of the worst Johnny Cash impressions he had ever heard.

Mousetraps

I'm sorry, but I think I'm officially bored of this game already. I've seen it twice recorded and once live, and I think that's enough for me. At least for me, it can only be funny so often. The fact that the whole game was pretty much the same sketchy schtick as the last show didn't help. If you've never seen it and think you might in the future, don't read on or else it might be ruined for you. Brad calls the assistants Shaky Fingers McGee and Trembles. One of them starts to pick up traps and throws them at the other. One holds onto the rope and sidles along when the other just happens to be holding a mousetrap at a point on the rope (I wonder how they time that so well). One takes off his blindgoggles late in the game and attacks the other with mousetrap, then the other removes his and pretends to be surprised that the other had done that. But yeah, most of it was identical to the last show, at least the parts worth talking about were. One of the only unique things worth mentioning is the way the suggesting audience member just spurted out an idea for a backyard project: "BOAT!" and Brad teased him about that. Brad also teased Colin and the assistants for taking too long and accidentally setting off some of the traps. Colin suggested that Brad set up the traps while he (Colin) walks back and forth and talks. Brad also joked about entering the community in a German accent: "Do you have your papers? Velcome to Lakeside!"
The laughter drowns out a lot of the dialog on the recording, but I don't think I missed much. Ignoring the mousetraps and opera-singing gimmick, the scene was boring and didn't really go anywhere. I think I may have been more interested if they the twist was different - perhaps playing the Mousetrap game while doing Sentences or One Syllable Word as well, or something like that.
Oh, I forgot to mention another interesting thing about this venue is that there were two cameras for two screens on each side of the stage. It would've been neat if they had taken advantage of this to play a game that couldn't be done without screens, like displaying a quirk or something. Would it have been feasible to get one of the cameras into position to play Sideways Scene? Or imagine if they had access to a green screen to play Newsflash or a similar game! Anyway, the screens ended being useful to see close-up views of the mousetraps hitting the guys.

Song to the tune of My Way

Brad: "And now, the end is near, and so we face the final curtain
You sat and laughed so long that both your cheeks and butt are hurtin'*
We loved this special show, it was one in which we take pride
This night, this magic night, right here -"
Colin and Brad: "in Laaakesiiide!"
Colin: "Moving Bodies, they moved us well, they moved us quite insanely
I think we would have been safer if we were hunting with Dick Cheney
The kids with the horns, they honked a lots and you could see-ee
Because of those young kids, I'm getting a vasectomy."
Brad: "In the mousetrap game, I squealed like Gloria Swanson
'Cause with the mousetraps you kept hitting my Johnson
But all these people here were so easy to please
Even though in this auditorium it's a hundred and ten degrees!
It's our pride, we cannot hide, right here -"
Colin and Brad: "in Laaakesiiide!"
Colin: "Sound Effects, your woman brought you cheer
My guy, that I picked, never had even one beer
Then the crime game, well that was tough, you didn't get the answer too soon
Perhaps you should go out and rent some Sailor Moon"
Brad: "So now we hope you realized
That our whole show is improvised
We made it up because we could
Oh yes, we're just that friggin' good!"**
And that's our show
We have to go..."
Colin and Brad: "We love you Laaakesiiide!"

*Pretty much the same two first lines as the last one we saw
**These two lines, or reasonable facsimiles thereof, were also in the last one. So yes, the whole show was improvised, except for those parts that I pointed out that weren't.

"Cut" games

So it turned out this time they didn't do The Torture Game or Sentences, which is a shame because it would've been nice to have those on the recording (and to get the chance to contribute sentences). I noticed someone who works for the auditorium holding a setlist which didn't list either, which rules out the possibility that the show just ran longer than expected. I thought maybe they didn't do The Torture Game because Letter Changes tends to include implied or created swear words, but then again why couldn't they do a slightly shorter version of TTG without Letter Changes? Removing Sentences from the set list also might've been to clean the show up, what with the unpredictability of what people might write. Or maybe the answer is simpler, that they just needed the show to be shorter...what with no intermission this time and all.

This post is almost done!

We didn't try to meet the guys afterward just because ... well, I'm thankful that I was able to meet them even the first time. I also didn't have a camera or anything new to sign, though if we see them a third time after I get the second volume Whose Line DVD, I'd probably like to have that signed. Besides, it was getting late and Amanda wanted to visit friends while in town. I'm okay with that.

So even though I made some cynical comments, I still enjoyed the show very much and would recommend it to anyone with a pulse.

Mate Colin

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 18:30:36 GMT

Just when you thought you've seen enough digitally altered pictures of Colin Mochrie, Worth1000.com attacks with more, including some surprisingly well-done (albeit disturbing) ones.

Greg Proops stand-up - Cleveland, OH - March 1st, 2007

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 00:54:59 GMT

Don't worry, I won't give a super-ultra-hyper-ridiculous detailed report of the act itself. The reasons being:
1) I'm sure one could easily find recaps of his recent stand-up acts as written by other fans, and most of it is probably the same as the one I saw.
2) It would take me so long to not only write it, but to collect my thoughts to try to remember as much of it as possible.
3) It wouldn't be nearly as funny to read about the show from a second-hand source as it is to actually see/hear it. Granted one could say the same about an improv show, but in that case I mostly liked the idea of a recorded account of the show, since each performance is quite different. One of Greg's qualities that impresses me is his way with words, and since I wouldn't be able to quote him directly, the mood of the jokes might fall flat anyway if they were to merely be paraphrased.

This was the first time I had ever seen live stand-up, and though I can't explain why, but it does seem much funnier than to see comedians live than it does to see them on television or movies or YouTube or the back of a cereal box or whatever. One of the interesting (to me anyway) things that separated this show from the Colin & Brad show, in terms of viewing experience, was the rest of the audience. I imagine most of the people who see An Evening With Colin & Brad see the show because they're already fans of Colin and Brad. I mean, unless you've seen Whose Line or have been recommend it by a friend, what other reason would you have for seeing it? In any given Colin & Brad audience, are there any people who attended because they enjoy improv but previously had no idea who Colin and Brad were? I imagine not, but I could be wrong. However in the case of the Greg show, it seemed there may have been people who attended the show because they enjoy stand-up comedy but previously had no idea who Greg Proops was. Maybe they happened to be at the restaurant for the night at decided to take in the show, or perhaps they regularly attend the comedy club to see whoever happens to be performing. I know that the couple sharing a table with us (us being me and mountain_fawn, but you probably guessed that) were given the tickets for free from a friend (I think the friend had won them in a contest or something. I don't know, it was hard to hear.). So it's not as if they went for the sake of seeing Greg, as we had. Also, I'm fairly certain the audience wouldn't have groaned and moaned as judgmentally as they had if most of them were people already familiar with Greg's material. Maybe there are plenty of Greg supporters in Cleveland, but they had just decided to see him on a different day than I had.

So because I was seemingly one of the few "hardcore" Greg fans (I hope that owning the audio cassette imaginatively titled "Greg Proops Live" qualifies me for hardcore status) for that show, I was able to get tickets for the best table in the place. Now, I don't want to sound like I'm bragging. I was just so surprised about it that I feel the urge to mention it. I knew that the table would be one of the closest to the stage. I did not know, until I got there however, that the table put me within arm's distance of the stage, smack dab in front of the microphone. That is why Amanda took this picture for me. The photo was taken while we were both seated at the table. Being that close helped a huge deal to make the show an awesome experience, the only downside being that my neck was a bit uncomfortable, craning upwards during the entire show to maintain eye contact. Resting my neck would have meant either looking away from the performer completely or looking at his crotch. I'd rather have my neck be uncomfortable.

Here is a picture of an ad that was in a plastic stand thingy on the table. Note the text below Greg's picture.

There were a couple of openers for Greg's act, the first (and the emcee) being a guy who I could only describe as striking a resemblance to Mike McShane (circa his Whose Line years - for those who don't know, before and after he was in better shape), especially because I can't remember his name. He was, well, as good as you'd expect an obscure local comedian to be. Your mileage may vary. The second was Drake Witham. I don't know how funny I would have found him if I had seen him on television first, but I thought he was quite funny at the show.

Seeing Greg live was surreal to say the least. When you can see the performer's sweat, flying saliva, and slightly thinning hair...well, that's pretty darn close. I don't remember the context of the bit, but at one point Greg was standing at the front of the stage, leaning back slightly, head looking upward, holding his crotch with one hand. I'm sure certain Greg fans would've enjoyed being in my position, as said crotch was practically pointed at me. I however felt quite awkward about it.

There were some key moments that were probably unique to this performance (or the Cleveland performances as a whole):
-Greg seeming/pretending to have trouble pronouncing "Ohio." "Ohi...oao...ao."
-I'm sure that Greg normally jokes about how the current venue he's playing in is much colder than the warmth of California that he's used to (if that's the case, of course). There's a bit in his recent iTunes album "Joke Book." Greg also specifically joked about the weather in the Cleveland area the morning. He asked the audience why rain doesn't follow the laws of gravity, since he learned that in Cleveland it travels sideways instead of falling downwards. I particularly enjoyed the reference because I had been out that morning too and could easily relate. To see him mention the subject of Cleveland weather, click here.
-The woman at our table had to leave briefly for some reason, and when she returned Greg noticed here, gave her a perplexed look, but said nothing.
-At one point in the show Greg pointed to an audience member (who was as close to the stage as we were) and said something to the effect of, "Ah, you laughed at that one! I've had my eye on your the whole show, and I know who laughs and who doesn't. You might think I can't see the audience from here, but I watch everyone."
-Cleveland insults, mainly referring to the Indians. Greg suggested that our racist mascot be replaced with a giant syringe who pokes the players in the butt with his (the syringe's, not Greg's) head. Naturally any jab got boo's from the audience, which as Greg pointed out himself, only made him want to make fun of them even more. He also commented on the way the audience reacted to certain bits. But with Greg I guess that's always to be expected.
-Greg expressed his desire for a drink, and eventually a waiter extended his hand toward the stage to fulfill the wish. As the waiter left, though, Greg crooned softly as if singing to a lost love. I can't explain it; it kind of confused me.

One of the bits was about Jessica Simpson's stupidity, the example being that she thought a buffalo had wings ("and that they could be so small..."). This lead to Greg's hypothetical demonstration of a buffalo getting ready to take off for flight. It was one of my favorite bits that night; I wish I could see it again. Now that I think of it I may have liked it for its Whose Line-ness. I can totally imagine "buffalo trying to fly" as a Party Quirk.

After the show Amanda and I hoped to meet Greg for autographs and a picture. We saw him head into an Employees Only door, and when Amanda asked a minute or two later one of the staff cleaning up, we were told that Greg was probably already leaving. That was another difference between this show and the Colin & Brad one. Did Greg just not expect enough people to want his autograph afterwards, or did he not have the time for it? Anyway, even without be able to personally greet him it was a pretty awesome show.

Whose Line-related news, what else?

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 20:06:11 GMT

For those who haven't heard yet, the British version of Whose Line, the full first two seasons of it, will be released on DVD. The fans in the states will see it first, thanks to A&E. You could buy it through the A&E store now for about $53 (including shipping), but I would recommend getting it when it's available through Amazon.com exactly a month from now, since it'd only set you back about $35 (with free shipping). And, well, if you plan on buying it through Amazon anyway, why not go to the front page of the Idiotsite and use the referal link there? It'll help the site out, at the cost of only a mouseclick or two.

---

In other news, I'll be seeing Greg Proops perform stand-up in Cleveland this Thursday.

Photo from the show

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 16:56:49 GMT

Here is, in my opinion anyway, the better of the two pictures.

An Evening With Colin and Brad - Warren, OH - November 25th, 2006

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 16:36:32 GMT

Short version: The show was awesome and I got autographs. Long version:

Gosh, where to begin? Well, perhaps the beginning. I went with mountain_fawn, my girlfriend/roommate. She's helping me write this because her memory is far superior to mine. She wrote an entry about the evening in her Livejournal, too. The lighted sign outside the venue boasted "Colin and Brad from Whose Line is it," but I'll forgive them because there wasn't enough space for the "anyway?" A sign posted at the door prohibited the use of cameras (including cell phone cameras), so we didn't take any pictures of the show. We agreed that it would've been too distracting to try to do so while paying attention to the show, anyway. It seems the sign didn't stop some other people from using their cameras, so maybe other people's pictures will show up online.

For those who normally read reports, or have had the privilege of attending any C&B shows themselves, some of this report may be stuff you already know, because I explain things that they've probably done in past shows. However I'm writing this assuming the reader knows nothing about AEWCAB performances. I'm also assuming the reader has seen Whose Line? enough to recognize games like Moving People and Questions Only.

The show was at 8:00, and after about an hour's drive, we got there at about 7:15. A lot of people were already seated, which makes me wonder how early the earliest people showed up. We were seated on the lower level, in the left section, in row M. Because they used a good sound system, and I was wearing my glasses, being able to see and hear what was going on was not at all an issue. The only reason I could wish to have been seated closer would be to be a more likely candidate for participation.

The show started as I imagine their other shows do, such as Colin asking the audience how many of them think that "Whose Line" was prepared ahead of time, then telling those people that they're bastards. Colin plugged the DVD and their Myspace (someone behind me OOOH'd as if a MySpace account is something worth OOOHing about). One of them said that all of the proceeds from the DVDs would go to...getting Drew another show. Brad pointed out the Christmas lights draped along the walls under the upper seating levels, and someone shouted "Just for you, Brad!"* People shouting things when they weren't supposed to shout things would be a recurring theme for the evening. At some point Brad and Colin jokingly wondered aloud why so many people showed just to see them, and someone shouted "We paid good money for these seats!" to which Brad quipped, "You paid bad money for those seats!" Brad pointed out that there was a sign language interpreter for a section of the audience, and that although he (Brad) doesn't know much sign language, he does know the sign for "poop," demonstrated the sign and said it often just to embarrass the interpreter. A basket with index cards and pencils was passed around the front rows of the audience as Brad asked them to write lines of dialogue for a game they'd play later. He was careful to explain that they wanted sentences someone would say, not scenes like "two astronauts in a monkey bar."

The first game was Moving People. Colin pointed to two audience members, told them to come up onstage, and thanked them "for volunteering." Colin used Brad to demonstrate how the participants could move them. "But remember, we are human, so we can only bend so far. If you feel any sort of resistance, please stop!" Colin explained that if you want Brad to wave to someone, you would raise his hand, if you want him to walk, you tap him behind the knees, and if you want him to go home with you, you can touch him anywhere around the crotch area. Brad's "mover" was a girl, so Colin added to his own mover, a guy, "That goes for you too!" For the game, they asked for a European country aside from the most well-known ones (France, Italy, etc), then chose Czechoslovokia. They used the Warr-...Y-...Youngstown yellow pages to randomly choose a subject: industrial fans. The mode of transportation suggested (disallowed possibilities included unicycle, moped, and pogo stick) was camel. I would say Colin and Brad's accents were closer to Russian, but maybe that's just me. Memorable jokes include: Brad saying that he was signaling a left turn when the mover stretched his arm out as so, Brad "waiting for his nails to dry," the movers gesturing Colin and Brad's camel ride (which was basically patting their butts), and Colin deciding to take his camel with him into the store (because the mover hadn't moved his legs for him to dismount) so that he wouldn't be "cameljacked." I think I remember this game least, just because it was the earliest.
Near the end of the game they needed to open a door, so the guy grabbed an Ohio flag that was on the stage and moved it towards the performers. I'm guessing he wanted to use it as the door, though I think Colin and Brad were just hinting that they wanted one of the movers to have them mime opening an invisible door. Brad said, "There seems to be a flag floating towards us! I think we've mistakenly come to Ohio!"

The second game was New Choice. Colin and Brad choose three young boys from the audience and gave them each a horn. Each child would be able to change Colin or Brad's line by honking the horn. Brad nicknamed one of them Fonzie because of the leather jacket he was wearing. For the suggestion for the game, Brad asked the youngest what he wanted to be when he grew up. "A doctor." "What kind of doctor? A monkey doctor?" "No...an...animal doctor." "An animal doctor. You're not just saying that because I said monkey, are you?" "No." So for the scene the two were veterinarians. Throughout the show I didn't write much as far as specific quotes or moments, but I did write for this game "Barbara Mandrill," Brad's reference to a famous country singer star, just because it was punny. The kids were definitely having a blast participating. Memorable line from Colin: "My gorilla has hemorrhoids." Also, "Absolu - (honk) - no." Somewhere in the game Brad impressively went through a long string of animals, including lemurs, lions, tiger, bears, etc. Also, there was a mention of an animal pap smear.The game ended on a line about how that family should've have any more kids. After the game ended, one of the kids honked his horn directly into Brad's ear.

Third for the night was Sentences. Unfortunately we weren't seated closely enough to write any lines. The audience was asked for a reason that two people would get in a feud. Amanda's suggestion, He "You stole my laundry!" was not used. Instead the scene was about a funeral. Brad said, "A funeral?" followed by a fake laugh. Colin added, "It was either that or sex." The lines used were: "Mom, where's my meatloaf?" (Colin), "Honey, where is the beef?" (Brad), "I dated girls uglier than you for breakfast" (C), "(blank card)" (B), "The Christmas lights look great, honey" (Brad), "Where is the tall Ryan?" (C) "What's up?" (C), "Do you want to get a bite to eat?" (B) "Khan!" (C), "Where are we now?" (B) "What if?" (B), "I have to go to the bathroom" (B), "You swallowed that stuff" (C), "I've had tighter," (C) "From now on I want to be known as Xavier" (B) "(another blank card)" (C) "Everything I have told you is a lie" (Colin), "Your dog did what?" (B) and "Holy cow!" (C) For some reason they were both Scottish (their accents slowly mutating into Ringo Starr impressions), and Colin was angry about Brad killing his father. Brad had run over Colin's dad (who was dressed as a sheep at the time) on a lake while his dad was ice fishing. Because sheep are attracted to fish, apparently. "Where is the tall Ryan?" is a line I'll remember for a long time. Brad joked about how they weren't making executive producer money and that someone should have read their ticket more carefully. Brad talked about the eulogy he would give at the funeral, which would start with "Where are we now?" meaning in the grand scheme of things. "There'll be some jerk who'll say 'at a funeral,' but I'll just ignore him." Then he would say, "What if?" continuing the philosophical theme. The eulogy would then end with "I have to go to the bathroom." Colin managed to get our minds out of the gutter from "You swallowed that stuff" by referring to Brad drinking a bottle of scotch, only to say "I've had tighter" for the following line. He made an "I can't believe I said that face." Colin told Brad he would get revenge by dressing his father as a cow and running him over on a basketball court. But as Brad pointed out, that would be moo-icide. Because they were already talking about bovines, "Holy cow!" made a hilariously appropriate line with which to end. Memorable line: Brad's "How do you date someone for breakfast?"

Then came the most dangerous improv game ever created, the Mousetrap game. I'm not sure why we call them games when they're not done on Whose Line, but I guess since I'm so used to writing about Whose Line I can't help it. For those unfamiliar, this is the game in which the two perform a scene with one hundred live mousetraps ("Ninety-nine," Brad corrected when one of them snapped during the set-up) strewn across the stage. Brad nicknamed the mousetrap-setting stagehands "Shaky" and "Trembles." The scene was done in the style of Alphabet (starting on the letter T) and Colin and Brad were mowing the lawn (a backyard project suggested). In addition to being blindfolded and barefoot on a mousetrap-filled stage while playing the alphabet game, they would also do the scene in an opera style. It was hilarious and all, but there was a little too much deja vu from the Just For Laughs playing of the same game. I don't think there's much to say about this one except, man, those weeds must hurt. Near the end, Brad held on to the rope (the two stagehands were holding up a rope to prevent the performers from walking off of the stage) and walked alongside it, only for his hand to bump into Colin, who was waiting for him near the middle of the rope. By the end Colin had removed his masking tape goggles and tossed mousetraps at Brad while pretending to be getting hurt. The game ended when Brad realized what he was up to.

At this point there was a ten-minute intermission, during which Amanda (mountain_fawn) walked up to the stage and got one of the mousetraps that the stagehands were clearing off. During the intermission, the announcer said twice that, at the artist's request, photography is not allowed.

After the break, Brad returned saying that his feet were now bruised and blistered. Someone closer to the front of the audience shouted "Happy birthday Colin!" (his birthday is November 30th) Colin said, "Thank you...but you know, Brad's birthday was yesterday." The audience members added a "Happy birthday Brad!" Brad made fun of them by miming typing in front of a computer, "Colinmochrie.com...oh, it's his birthday!" in a somewhat creepy voice.

Next we had the privilege of seeing The Torture Game, a medley of five different improv games: Questions Only, One-Syllable Words, If You Know What I Mean, Letter Substitutions, and Dr. Seuss. As Brad mentioned the name of each game Colin explained them. "The first one is Questions Only." "In this game we can only speak in Questions." "Thank you. Next is One-Syllable Words." "In this game we can speak using only words with one syllable. No more, or...well, no less would be kinda hard to do." "Next is If You Know What I Mean." Note: most of the audience cheered when Whose Line games like this were mentioned, but when games that hadn't been done on Whose Line, or games with different names than when done on Whose Line were mentioned, there was no reaction. Maybe I should've woot'd at the mentions of obscure games to show what a geeky fan I am. For Letter Substitutions the audience was asked for two letters, other than Q, J, X or vowels. It turned out that all S's would become T's. An audience member was chosen to be the "Drew Carey" for the scene. She would sit on a stool and, whenever either performer says "Freeze," she would read one of the games for the scene, in order. The audience member was asked what they would do for a living if money wasn't an issue; she chose acting. Specifically, drama. Randomly chosen from the phonebook was Orkin pest control. The audience was asked for something along the lines of a relationship between two people, or a way that two people would interact. The used suggestion: lovers. And Colin and Brad would start the scene in a Shakespeare style.
In the scene, Colin was producing a new play about pest control and was asking Brad to be one of the actors. I don't remember much about the Shakespeare portion, but if you've ever seen Brad or Colin do the style, you get the idea. I also don't remember much about the Questions Only segment, except Brad trying to get Colin to tell him the name of the play. Written in my notepad is "Roacheo and Juliet," which I'm sure what a Brad pun. There was another Shakespeare/pest control pun that he made, but I couldn't make it out at the time.
One-Syllable Words found the two talking like, as Brad pointed out, "a man from a cave." Colin sort of tripped up when he resorting to saying "writ" instead of "written." Brad would mock him a few times about this, such as by saying "the word writ is for a twit!" At one point Colin tried to ask Brad what kind of dramatic acting he could do, struggling with examples: "Sad...joy..." Brad was able to come up with better one-syllable emotion words. "I can do rage, I can do angst..." "Yes, angst, of course." The scene went quite anachronistic when Colin told Brad that he could pay him with his charge card. But Brad wanted to know what brand of credit card it was. "This one," Colin answered. Brad then said, "I can't read that. Can you tell me what it says?" Someone in the audience, for some mad reason, shouted "Sears!" because they thought it would be helpful or something. Colin and Brad ignored it, though.
The If You Know What I Mean portion mainly consisted of "part" jokes, as in "I know you're using to having small parts," "This is a pretty big part," "I've heard your part is very hard," "Your part is a mouthful," "I can't wait to wrap my tongue around your part," and possibly more. Also there was talk of a hole that needed to be filled (the discussion becoming more and more graphic), but I still don't understand what that had to do with the play.
Letter Substitutions included the following words: titter (sister), jackatt, atthole, thit (as in, "I don't give a thit"), putty, Mittittippi and titty (sissy). I think this was the part where Brad tried to explain to Colin that he couldn't be in his play because he had to play in a toccer game on Taturday. The idea of Dr. Seuss was basically to rhyme one's own or each other's lines in a Dr. Seuss fashion. The most impression rhyme I remember was Brad rhyming "actor" with "benefactor." In this part of the scene, Brad finds out that he has to play a gay lover in the play. "I have to be gay? But I don't go that way! I can't be in your play, I have a soccer game on Saturday! Can't you just have the play on Sunday?" Brad said (and I think even more -ay rhymes), with Colin pleading later, "Can't you just be a little gay?"
The Dr. Seuss portion ended with Colin and Brad exchanging many, many -uck rhymes. Brad could take his truck, but he'd have to ride it through the mud and muck. Colin says, "Yeah, that would really suck." Brad can be ready, nip and tuck. Colin: "I'm from Canada. I'm a canuck!" Brad: "I'll be sure to bring a hockey puck!" Colin: "As Curly would say, nyuk nyuk nyuk!" I believe there were also mentions of a buck, luck, corn to shuck, a duck, a chicken going cluck, and being stuck. Near the end when it was Colin's turn, he paused and said, "...see ya Sunday."
After the Torture Game, it was Colin and Brad's turn to torture a couple of audience members as they did Sound Effects. I believe their names were Greg and Michelle. I'm sure the guy was named Greg, and though I'm not sure about the girl's name I need to call her something for the sake of describing what went on. The setting/subject of this scene would also be taken from the yellow pages. One of the random selections was insurance (which is always full of sound effects), the other being a podiatrist center with the slogan "put your feet in hands that care," which Colin and Brad thought was odd. Greg provided the sound effects for Colin and Michelle provided the sounds for Brad. Before the game started, the audience members were given a chance to practice to make sure they knew how to play. Colin asked Greg would sound he would make if he opened a can of beer that had just been shaken up. Greg responded with an impressive plosive pop, and Colin made a remark about how Greg must be familiar with that sound. Michelle was also asked to do a beer can sound, but it didn't live up to Greg's version. The scene started with Brad typing at a computer, but from the sound being made, the keys were all wet. Colin and Brad demonstrated their new foot care products. One was a device that could only shoot a tiny burst of air for a couple of seconds, but Colin insisted that it was powerful enough to blow off dry cracked skin. Brad showed off a new type of foot buffer. Michelle made a short sound for it, so Brad said that it only works for three seconds then breaks down. Brad decided to set off some bottle rockets for some reason. When Brad opened a window, it made a whiny sound. Brad discovered a puppy that was sitting outside of the window. He shot one of the bottle rockets up three miles into the sky before it went off. Any moment Brad and Colin would expect a phone call from Mr. Henderson. "Brrring brring." Colin answered. Greg voiced Mr. Henderson in a Ryanesque unintelligible mumble. "Are you still working as a janitor at Charlie Brown's school?" Colin asked him. They talked a bit more, and Colin signaled a joint-smoking gesture to Brad. After the phone call, Colin used a typewriter to type up an insurance report. Colin and Brad needed to bring insurance papers to Henderson, but because Henderson lived on an island, they would have to take the boat. Brad brought his puppy. Greg provided a very decent motor rumble for the boat. To pass the time, they would listen to some music. Colin wanted to listen to The Beatles. Greg's interpretation was unintelligible mumbling/singing. Colin explained that it was a CD of Mr. Henderson singing Beatles songs. Brad put in another CD: Classic Christmas songs. Michelle sang, "Frosty the Snowman..." and Brad had to explain that the CD was only the first line of classic Christmas songs. Brad put in yet another CD: Shania Twain. Michelle made a couple of clicks for the sound effects of the CD player, but didn't sing. According to Brad, it was a CD of Shania Twain clipping her toenails, which he liked because he works in podiatry. Just for fun, Brad decided to try another bottle rocket, this time in the boat. This one exploded much sooner, causing Brad's clothes and Colin's hair to catch on fire. "The first one went up two miles, and this one only went up 7 feet! They're very inconsistent!" Brad said. Then he decided to shoot one of the bottle rockets at a tree on the island. He did, but set the tree on fire. Also, he had accidentally hit a guard cat on the island. Colin said he would call 911, but since the beeps from the key presses didn't match up, he said he had dialed 9341. The phone answered clearly, "911, what is your emergency?" "Hi, this is Larry from...Foot..." Brad asked Colin what kind of a name "Foot" is for a foot care company. Colin told the operator about the fire and asked if they could send someone over. "Nope," the phone answered. Brad said he would try to call for help, since he personally knew someone who could help. Brad rang up Nancy and smugly told her their predicament. Michelle, as Nancy, answered, "I'm sorry, we can't send anyone over because we didn't pass our levy." This incited huge cheers and applause. I'm not sure if the audience loved it because A) audience always love mentions of local things in shows like this, B) they agreed that the levy should have been passed, C) they thought it was a funny and clever of her, all of the above or two of those reasons. Anyway, I loved it for the sheer cleverness. Brad made a comment about how it must be a sensitive local issue. Then, he had an idea. Aloe absorbs heat, so he could use some to put out the fire. Brad decided to get one of the foot buffers, and mimed walking down stairs. Colin was confused, as he didn't realize their boat had stairs. But after shooting aloe from one of the foot buffers, they somehow got rid of the fire. They celebrated the fire extinguishing with a couple of beers. Colin chugged his down, with Greg giving a perfectly delivered and timed belch. Brad, in an effort to one-up Colin, gulped down his drink and also burped, though his wasn't as well-formed. So he tried a couple more times, but each time they sounded more like roars than burps. He then broke wind that sounded an awful lot like a raspberry. Then, the game ended, because that's always a good note on which to end.

Colin and Brad introduced the next game as a new game that they have only done once or twice before, because they're always workshopping with new ideas and experimenting with new games. This would be called And Now What?. The audience was asked if there were any couples who'd like to participate in the next game. Amanda and I raised our arms, though it seems like no one beyond the frontmost rows ever gets to be onstage. The names of the couple chosen were Jennifer and I think Michael. The premise of the game was explained rather vaguely: Michael and Jennifer would start a scene, then Colin and Brad would enter later. For someone who wasn't told exactly what she was supposed to do, Jennifer started it off fairly well. She pointed to the opposite side of the stage and asked, "Hey, is that my pickle?" Michael offered to pick it up for her; it must have fallen off her sandwich. Michael then bent down on one knee in front of Jennifer. "Jennifer, will you marry me?" "For real?" "Yes." "Yes!" At first, I thought their improvised scene had gone in a surrealistic direction. But when the audience started to applaud and cheer, I realized what had happened. It wasn't meant to be improv at all, which meant Amanda and I had no chance of getting onstage for that one anyway. When Michael and Jennifer returned to their seats, Brad explained that Michael had arranged it with him before the show (AH-HA! Not everything was truly improvised!). Colin found it funny that the last thing she said to him before he proposed was "Hey, is that my pickle?" Brad then pointed to another section of the audience and jokingly said that there was a couple that wanted to get divorced onstage.

For the second-to-last improv game of the night, Interrogation, Colin was escorted out of the room, far enough away that he would not hear the suggestions that Brad would collect for the game. He asked that the main lights be turned up and spotlight off so that he could see the audience better. He needed to individually choose audience members for suggestions so that he could hear them more clearly. The idea is that Colin has committed a crime, and he has to confess to it. But since he doesn't really know what he did, he has to figure out the details based on clues Brad gives to him while "interrogating." Also, the audience could help by applauding whenever Colin got close with his guesses. It took a little while for the spotlight operator to get the message that he wanted the light off, but Brad joked that it usually takes longer. The first pair of suggestions needed was what Colin was wearing at the time of the crime. Brad asked for something unusual, but noted that in previous shows they'd heard every type of women's lingerie. One person suggested corset and another viking war outfit; both suggestions would be used. The next set of suggestions were what Colin actually did. "Stealing a wig" was rejected, probably because Brad wanted something more unusual. He said that it shouldn't be something that was stolen. The first "crime" was that he peed on a cop's foot. After Brad heard the suggestion, he gestured to an offstage security officer, who walked onstage and pointed his flashlight at the suggesting audience member. The crime was provided by a girl in an orange shirt - Amanda! "Yay!" she said, to which Brad answered, "Yes, yay." She shouted, "painted clown make-up on the Statue of Liberty!" See, the irony here is that I took the time to prepare ahead of time a bunch of suggestions to use, but I was not able to use any of them. Amanda, however, thinks of the first thing that pops into her head, and it's used for the show. Aaanyway. Now Brad needed to know where this crime, well, these crimes, took place. He wanted a specific location, like a city, with an Indian-sounding name. Chicamogwa it was. Then finally Brad needed two unusual objects that would end up being evidence of the crime. Though when I raised my hand and was not called upon, I would have said "frilly seahorse." "O.J.'s glove" was one of the suggestions Brad heard but rejected because it had already been used in a previous show. He had explained at the beginning of the game that one should not be offended if their suggestion isn't taken, because certain suggestions are repeated often and Brad and Colin like to use new ideas each time. "Apple seed" and "Game Boy" were two other items heard but not chosen. In the end the items were a banana peel and a diaper. Now that Brad had all of the suggestions needed, the lights returned to normal and Colin was called back into the room and onto the stage.
The clues Brad gave to Colin were basically puns. Brad asked Colin what he was wearing, and Colin said, "I have to tell you, this is the first time I've ever word this particular get-up." I don't remember what the clues were exactly for corset, but after correcting himself from speedo he quickly got it. The viking war outfit took him longer, though. Brad made the Thor/sore and "horny" puns, which made Colin think it had something to do with thunder. Brad offered Colin a small drink, a "mini soda." He emphasized "mini soda" and the NFL, but Colin said "I'm Canadian!" I had heard about this game before, but what I didn't realize was that Brad ensured that Colin guess each suggestion word-for-word. So when Colin said battle, that wasn't good enough - he had to say the word "war." He also had to specific the word "outfit," which took some time. Brad would say, "But what do you call it exactly? It's the whole..." to which Colin would add, "...thing." Once Colin said the exact phrase "viking war outfit," Brad started talking about how disgusted he was that Colin would do such a thing, to "one of his (Brad's) own men." Colin got cop after guessing security guard. He said, "You must have been pissed. But urine big trouble!" Colin quickly figured out the "peed" part. "But where exactly did you do it?" Brad asked. "Here," Colin answered. "But where on the cop?" "Hmm, let's see, where was I aiming?" I can't remember exactly how Brad hinted that it was the foot, but when Colin guessed "shoe" Brad had to get the specific word by asking him what goes in a shoe. For the next crime, Brad showed Colin his disgust that he would do such a thing to such an important woman, a symbol of our nation. "Dolly Parton?" Colin guessed. No, it was a much older woman, as Brad told him. If I recall correctly, Colin figured it out without any other incorrect guesses. Colin knew it had to do with clowns when Brad called him a bozo. As my memory goes, Brad's clues at first led Colin to believe that he had dressed the Statue of Liberty in a clown costume, but Brad "reminded" him that he only vandalized the face. The tricky part for Brad was getting Colin to say "make-up." Colin knew it had to do with make-up, but didn't know the right word yet because he could only call it face paint. Brad asked him, while gesturing to his own face, what you would call the whole ensemble. Colin was puzzled by his use of "ensemble" for the face area. Brad said, "We could fight all day, or we could just..." and Colin answered, "...not." But Colin eventually got it. Each time Colin figured out a piece of the puzzle word-for-word, Brad would make him summarize what he had so far. "While wearing a corset and a viking war outfit, I peed on a cop's foot and painted clown make-up on the Statue of Liberty." But where did he do it? Brad tried to give all the clues necessary for the place in a long sentence. "There you were, looking like a baby bird while making a sound of confusion and drinking water with your Spanish friend." So basically Brad tried to get Colin to sound out "chick-um-agua." "Chick" was the easy part, "um" taking a little longer. Colin's guess at the last two syllables was "aqua," but Brad reminded Colin that he was looking for the Spanish word for water, not the Latin one. "it's the same, except for the sound in the middle. And I don't want the French word for water, either." "Actually, the French word for water is l'eau," Colin said smartypantsily. But Colin had no idea what the Spanish word for water was, because as he explained, he's Canadian. So Brad asked Colin to name South American countries. "What's that one beginning with N?" "..." "Ni...ca..." "ragua! Agua! Agua agua agua!" Colin was happy and proud to figure that one out. "While wearing a corset and a viking war outfit in Nicar...AGUA...I peed on a cop's foot and painted clown make-up on the Statue of Liberty." The game was almost done. The last two were relatively simple for them. Brad called Colin yellow and said something about him slipping up, and Colin said banana, but after Brad told him it wasn't the whole banana, Colin knew it was the banana peel. Brad said for the last piece, "I bet when you were caught, you must've crapped your pants" and punned with "Depends." Colin has no trouble getting "diaper." Colin summed up every detail of his crime once more and the game was complete.
Memorable moment: At one point when he seemed to be getting frustrated, Colin deliberately itched his forehead with his middle finger.

At the final game of the night began, Colin and Brad talked about what a wonderful night it had been, and how they wish they could immortalize it somehow. So, they both sang a song to the tune of "My Way," (not the Limp Bizkit one) with improvised lyrics about things that had happened in the show. Brad excited the crowd by mentioning Warren, rhyming it with deplorin' and I think explorin'. For some reason I remember more of what Colin sang about than I remember what Brad sang, but I remember Brad sang a line about getting hit with a mousetrap in the crotch. Colin sang a verse about how, in Moving People, he and Brad were like the guys from Brokeback Mountain. He also sang about one of the New Choice kids almost broke Brad's eardrum and how it would've sucked if Jennifer (the proposee) said "no." The big finale of the song and the entire performance was the second or third mention of Warren. The show was a terrific way to spend ninety-eight dollars, two hours and fifteen minutes.

After the show Amanda and I had hopes that we could meet the guys. So we hung out near the hallway intersecting the corridor through which we thought Colin and Brad might be leaving. We, I mean, she talked a bit to the other handful of fans who were waiting but didn't really know where to meet the guys either. One was an enthused woman who seemed to be embarrassing who I assume were her two teenage girls. Another was a woman wearing this shirt. Amanda complimented her on it and the woman mentioned colinandbradshow.com. After vaguely waiting patiently and moving around a bit with other fans, we were escorted backstage by a security person. Whoo-hoo! We formed a line to the table at which Brad and Colin were sitting. Mousetraps were handed out to the line by a stagehand, which made Amanda feel a bit silly for having taken the trouble to get one from the stage earlier. After the show and before getting backstage, Amanda also snagged a poster from a board elsewhere in the building. They signed the Whose Line DVD I brought. In hindsight, I should have somehow removed the paper cover within the plastic on the case and brought just that for them to sign, so that I could slip it back into the plastic cover for protection, but ... I didn't think of that until...just now, to tell you the truth. So they ended up signing on the plastic. I didn't realize until I got home that night, though, that Brad isn't actually pictured on the DVD. So while Colin signed next to his face on the cover, Brad ended up covering Wayne's picture with his signature. I didn't off my mousetrap or poster to be signed, just because it seemed greedy to ask them to sign more than one thing for me in one meeting. Amanda had her mousetrap signed. By the way, Amanda has confirmed that those mousetraps really do hurt. She says they must be insane to play that game. Instead of snapping my own finger, I decided to just take her word for it. When we were getting our autographs, Amanda said to them, "I bet doing this (the autograph sessions) must get repetitive after a while." Colin told her, "No, just Brad."
Since my sister let me borrow her digital camera, we were able to get pictures with the guys as well! Hooray! We asked a guy who had his own camera to take it for us. The first time something screwed up, so we had to ask the guy and Colin and Brad to try again. This time the guy took two pictures and they came out very well. As soon as I acquire a USB cable that fits (in hindsight I should have brought that too), I will be able to upload the pictures. That'll probably be the next post in this LiveJournal. As we left backstage we spotted on a table the bowl with the cards from Sentences. Some of the unused lines were: "If I hear one more Michigan fan bellyache about last week's game..." "How did it feel to be cameljacked?" and something about Drew Carey.
We left, grabbed a bite to eat, and went home very happy. I'm already looking forward to the July 2007 show at Lakeside.

Wow, did you really read the whole thing?

*Disclaimer: any quotations mentioned may or may not be word-for-word.

[Edit: Amanda corrected me that it was Brad who said "Foot" for the name of the company, and that Colin made fun of him for it.]

Live improv....LIVE

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 17:04:19 GMT

Around 2000 (or possibly 2001, whatever), Brad Sherwood visited Cleveland to do an improv show at the Improv with his then-partner Dave Bushnell. I couldn't go because I was not old enough. Last year, the Improv All-Stars were in Cleveland, but I did not see the show because I had no one to take me (and I didn't have enough money anyways). Also last year there was supposed to be an Evening With Colin & Brad show in Lakeside, OH (very close to where mountain_fawn lives, which is a close enough drive from where I live) but the show was cancelled.

Colin and Brad will be doing an EWC&B show in Warren, OH (about an hour away) on November 25th. And NOTHING WILL STOP ME THIS TIME! BWAHAHAHA and mountain_fawn will be going with me.

...

I've already ordered the tickets and I have a list of suggestions to shout and everything. Feel free to help me add to this list.

Styles
-Rocky Horror Picture Show
-Broadway musical
-Clue
-24
-American Idol
-Sesame Street
-Fanimutation
-VeggieTales
-House
-An Evening With Colin & Brad

Settings
-The U.S. Department of Monkeys
-Wal-Mart

Sentences (obviously to write, not to shout)
-"Petting poodles makes me happy!"
-"How do you feel about honey-glazed ham?"
-"FUMSHARG!"
-"I would totally buy an office chair out of a vending machine."
-"There's been a lot of pancake incidents."
-"I'm as good as a hat."
-"Baroo?"
-"They call me Doctor Worm. Good morning, how are you? I'm Doctor Worm."

...

Yeaaah.

A nauseatingly extensive Whose Line DVD review

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 22:43:41 GMT

So, yeah. I couldn't help myself. I bought it (see previous post). Where to begin? Sure, I have all of the episodes on tape. But the first season episodes are spread apart on different tapes, and the DVD quality is noticeably better as well. And the extras are totally worth it, as anyone else who's seen it will tell you. There are six extra games on the disc as well as twenty minutes worth of out-takes. This first volume includes the first ten episodes of the first season of the US series. That is, the first ten that originally aired on ABC. That means the "foal giving birth" party, Brad's song to Niroshi, Wayne's bus driver sound effects song, Kathy Kinney's appearance, and such. There are two different versions of the set being sold. One is the "family-friendly" version, which I imagine deletes the swear words uttered in the extras, and the other is the "uncensored" version, which lets you hear those profanities. But here's the thing. The "uncensored" tag on the cover only refers to the extras. There is one instance, in one episode of all ten episodes, in which someone is bleeped. And even on the "uncensored" DVD, the bleep is still present. But since it's just one bleep, and I know what word is bleeped, I have nothing to complain about - I merely mention it for the sake of trivia. But would you believe there are people who have complained about it for the sake of complaining about it? Me neither, but it's true! I guess some people were really looking forward to hearing Ryan say the word "hand." I have two possible explanations for the "uncensored" version censoring. One is that it was just an oversight. The person putting together the set didn't notice that there was one bleep in one episode. After all, how often is a bleep ratio that low on a TV show? Usually a show has no bleeps at all because the censor controls the script before a swear word can be uttered (The Drew Carey Show), has no bleeps because though it's unscripted it's a family-friendly format anyway (Wheel of Fortune) or a show is virtually full of bleeps because it's unscripted and vulgar (The Jerry Springer Show). Whose Line somehow crosses the three lines at once, since although the performers aren't supposed to swear...they sometimes do. Anyway, when the unscripted vulgar type of show is released on DVD, it's a no-brainer to release the DVDs completely free of bleeps. Would anyone buy a censored version of Jackass? Whose Line, though, is somehow a show that a family can watch together. Not quite sure how that happened, but you have to admit that it's more entertaining than Wheel of Fortune, though not as squeaky-clean. What was the point I was making? Oh, yes. The first season of WL had very few bleeps, and as I mentioned, only the one in the first ten episodes. So that episode could've been uncensored for the uncensored version, but just that one word in just that one episode? Seems kind of silly for the DVD producers to go through that kind of trouble, doesn't it? When you remove all of the bleeps from South Park, you notice the difference, which justifies the trouble. And not only would the WL DVD people have to go through the trouble of removing that one bleep for that one episode, but they would also have to go through the trouble of removing that bleep for the uncensored version but keeping it intact for the family-friendly version. I mean, the sentence I just wrote trying to explain it seems like a hassle! But in later Whose Line seasons, there are more bleeps. In the latter ten episodes of the first season, two bleeps. Second season, six bleeps*. Third season, eleven. I imagine that if/when the third season is released on DVD, those bleeps would be removed since it would be more likely worth the trouble. Wow, I've written a lot and I've barely scratched the surface.

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I'm glad that the DVD menus are not as annoying as the promotional site. It would have been nice if there was some way to find your favorite episode without memorizing them by number. Perhaps a episode summary booklet in the case, or in the DVD menus. I was also hoping that the games would be separated by chapters so that one could watch a particular game on demand without fast-forwarding, but oh well. Could be worse. Unless I dreamed it, I remember a TV show on DVD that had no chapter separation. Can't remember which one. So I guess I should remind myself of that famous proverb. I once looked a gift horse in the mouth because he had no horseshoes, until I met a horse that couldn't be lead to water because he had no feet.
I'm thankful that there are no trailers at the beginning of each disc to skip through. The Black Books DVD has three trailers. Hey, people who make DVDs. If you put trailers elsewhere on the disc, I'll still watch them anyway, for the sake of watching everything on the disc. But I don't need to watch them every time I put the disc in. 'K?

Special features

For some reasons, some of the special features use unaired material from tapings of the episodes that are not on this disc. Does that mean there'll be less material available for volume 2? I like how there are the right amount of never-before-seen games that it would be about equivalent to one full episode. So all of the games combined is like one compilation episode!

Questions Only with Brad, Wayne, Colin and Ryan in a World War II submarine.
Who didn't see the "seaman" joke coming (so to speak)? Pointless trivia: ABC has next shown an episode with Brad playing Questions Only. Not counting Questionable Impression. Not a terribly memorable playing, but a decent one to use to start the list.

Scenes From a Hat, guest-starring Kathy Kinney
Did you notice that in the first US season, Scenes From a Hat uses the British format? There is only one joke for each scene, unless someone steps into the stage before the first person leaves. I think Drew's "Porky Claire" joke was actually the most clever and funniest thing said in the game. Yeah, I'm assuming that you've watched the DVD already. What's up with Ryan and pork? Though I've only seen him mentioned it about three times, I get the impression that when he's got nothing else, he just tries to incorporate pork into a Scene From a Hat, just because it's a funny word.

Animals - Pigeon Gangsters
I smell a new CGI film idea.

Duet
I like this one, and, hey, I just noticed that all six of the never-before-seen games feature Brad Sherwood. Coincidence?

Bar Scene
I don't know about you, but I think a popsicle is more suggestive than a gerbil. This is probably my favorite of the six games, even if we don't get to hear Colin's song. But you can still a still from Colin in this game in the corner of the "languages" menu.

Greatest Hits
Ryan looks awkwardly sweaty in this one. Though the songs aren't very catchy, I always enjoy Greatest Hits. In this instance I liked hearing Brad and Wayne sing in three styles I had never heard the two do together before.

Gag Reels

So there's a "play all" button to play TWO gag reels, but no "play all" button for the six games? Okay, whatever. Does anyone have any explanations as to why the gag reels are separated into two parts anyway? Look in the upper-left corner of the menu for the gag reels. What is Ryan holding?

Gag Reel #1
I hope the Hoedowns don't end up on the Hoedownsite, just because I think the extra features are the main influence for people to buy the set. Seeing Dan Patterson "in action" was interesting, and seeing Ryan make fun of him is hilarious.
How long do you reckon until someone makes icons from those Ryan's crotch moments?
I'm trying to figure out that bit at the end of the Hansel and Gretel Daytime Talk Show. Is that different from the end of the game in the episode on the DVD? Was either different from the original airing?
I wouldn't have noticed the guy yawning behind Drew if it wasn't pointed out. Did anyone else notice it at first? Notice the guy in front of the guy who yawned seemed to think he was being blamed.

Gag Reel #2
"A lot of people said rap, but I wanted a style of music." Does this mean at some point in the US show, Drew took suggestions from the audience for styles of song?
For some reason, at first I though the superhero name was "Flying Jim," and I was trying to figure out what was wrong with it until Drew said "They don't like the blind part." I think Flying Jim would've been an awesome superhero suggestion.
So, that "500 points to Ryan for giving the censor something to think about" was originally after a Hoedown, and not the pizza place Narrate?

The DVD includes French and Spanish subtitles, but no English subtitles. With a very basic understanding of the language, I found myself watching episode with the French subtitles on, just to see how some of the jokes were translated. I like how a lot of the songs still rhyme (and make sense) after translation, though this is not as often the case with the Spanish subs. See Niroshi's song in French for an example. I have the desire to, later, post notes of the interesting translations. For example, one of Greg's Weird Newscasters names is changed to "Paul Bienmembré." I'll assume that means what I think it means. And "Love Muffins" is "Amour Toujours" (Love Always).

Anyway, I'm glad I bought this and am surprised that you made it through all of that text somehow.

*I'm counting any one individual of censoring as one bleep. So although the bleep was heard more than once in Josie's Scenes From a Hat suggestion, I count it as one for the sake of trivia.

Yeah, it's over five months away, what's your point?

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 05:16:49 GMT

If anyone's wondering what I'd want for Christmas/my birthday...

I kind of don't support this petition.

Wed, 17 May 2006 18:37:05 GMT

I originally wrote this for this message board thread.
But a lot of you guys/gals on my friends list are smart enough to already know what I say below, so feel free to ignore it completely. I just like the idea of having these thoughts saved for when I might need to use them again.
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I'm just saying that petitions work better in certain circumstances. Or, work at all I guess. Let's say, I don't know, someone were to start a petition to place a stop sign on the corner of my street. This would be an example of a useful petition. If someone living on that street (or someone who often travels through it) is in favor of the idea, that person would sign the petition. If a person is against the notion, they will not sign it. When the petition is passed on to the people in charge of placing stop signs, those people have reasonable numbers to use to make their decision. If the petition is signed by the majority of the people living on or around the street (and fake names could easily be confirmed, if anyone was foolish enough to try that sort of thing), then the people in charge would know that the most of the people actually affected by the change would be in favor. If there are few signatures, then obviously most people do not thing that the stop sign is a good idea. Basically, the simpler the petition, the better.
When an online petition is made, not just one street on one neighborhood is petitioned, but the entire world. You're asking every single person in the world if it would be a good idea for a television series to be aired. Gosh, where to begin. First of all, the only effect the change would have is entertainment value. There wouldn't be any car crashes as a result...well I suppose if I was driving and distracted by thinking about something funny that Colin said and....okay, not as a direct result anyway. If people support the idea, yes, they'll sign it. But what about the people who don't want Whose Line back on the air? The people who eventually get the petition won't be able to assume that everyone who doesn't sign it is against the idea, since there must be thousands of people who would sign it, but simply didn't know it existed. In summary, an online petition would only be feasible if every single person affected by the change had the chance to sign it (and what about those without internet access?) Let's go back to the original example. If I sign the stop sign (agh I'm using the word "sign" too much) petition, I'm basically saying, "I'm willing to take the time to pause for a few seconds if it means preventing future automobile accidents." There's a sacrifice involved. Signing a tv show petition means you're saying, "I'm willing to let you put Whose Line on the air if it means letting me watch Whose Line." To the people in charge of putting the show on the air, it probably comes across as "We enjoy this show, therefore you should allow us to see it more!" To me it seems like a petition for a television program isn't far off from, say, a petition for free money.
Before you mention the fanbase...well, you could say that any show has a large fanbase, but how would you prove it? As I explained earlier, the number of petitions doesn't accurately depict it. Television networks already use a method to determine how many people tune in to see a show (Click here for more information on Nielsen Media Research). Granted, it's not perfect either, but it's more reliable than an online petition. Nielsen ratings are better proof of a show not being popular enough to stay on television than a list of names on a webpage. The stop sign people could easily check records to be sure that a Mr. John Smith lives on Main Street. But what records would the network people check to be sure that "mike" would watch Whose Line is it Anyway? on a regular basis if it were brought back to television? And would he purchase products and/or services sold during the commercials?
But I suppose it couldn't _hurt_ to make an online petition. Other than the waste of time, but that's a given. Maybe you want to make an online petition for the fun of it. If you do, I strongly suggest taking the time to write it well. It doesn't have to be a Harvard application essay. Make an attempt to spell words correctly and form at least semi-convincing arguments.

Examples
BAD: "...sign 4 them..."
GOOD: "...sign for them..."

BAD: "...until we get WHOSE LIN BACK!!..."
GOOD: "...until we get "Whose Line?" back."
EVEN BETTER: "...until the purpose of the petition is fulfilled."
BEST: "...until the purpose of the petition is fulfilled, pretty please with sprinkles on top!"

I apologize if instead of being optimistic and upbeat, I actually thought the idea through. Now, if only I could start a petition to end online petitions.

Post script. I look forward to reading your rebuttal.