Huzlinefan (huzlinefan) wrote,

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An Evening With Colin and Brad - Mansfield, OH - May 2nd, 2009

The short of it: Still immensely entertaining even after having seen two shows. One of my bizarre suggestions was used! It was fun.

[Warning: This documentation contains shifts from past tense to present tense and back! Also, if you haven't seen a Colin & Brad Show, this can be spoilery. Also, some quotes may be changed slightly or paraphrased.]

Before the actual show
We drove past the theater because it was on the way to the restaurant we wanted to go to in the area, and I was surprised to see that, at 6 o' clock (it was an 8 o' clock show) there was already a bit of a line forming at the front. I'm not sure why they were waiting, since it was an assigned-seating show. Were they devoted enough to get there that early but not enough to buy tickets ahead of time? Were they just that eager?

Mansfield's Renaissance Center for the Performing Arts is probably the fanciest venue in which I've seen a C&B show. It might be the fanciest I've ever been to at all, though the Cleveland Playhouse is a worthy competitor. It was certainly a refreshing change from the Kent State MAAC center, where Amanda and I saw Flight of the Conchords. That was really just a basketball court (on which we would blame the awful acoustics) filled with folding chairs. But the RCPA is a pleasant, old-fashioned theater where they, to our amusement, sold popcorn for the show. Back when we were ordering tickets, we had the choice of either decent floor seats of great balcony seats. We decided on the balcony seats just for the sake of seeing it from a different point of view, and we were glad we did. We were on the aisle on the second row, so we could see the entire stage beautifully. I would totally recommend the upper level for EWC&B shows for anyone who wouldn't mind having virtually no chance of being called up onstage for a game.


The introduction was mostly routine stuff for all of the shows. There was a couple who walked in during the intro, and of course Brad called them out on it. "You guys are late. We had technically difficulties, and we started fifteen minutes late, but seriously. Forget about daylight savings time?"

Moving Bodies
The participants were Brad (Colin remarked, "What a stupid name.") and Jessica. A notable point Colin made when explaining the concept to the movers was, "Don't make us hit each other, or we'll do the same to you." For the game, Colin took the suggestion (for a European country other than France, Germany or Italy) of Ukraine. "I don't think we've ever had Ukraine." Brad: "It hasn't been in Europe that long." Colin then asked for an occupation that was around before the invention of electricity (yes, he said invention). Colin rejected prostitute (admittedly, that would make for an interesting round of Moving Bodies!), but decided on "buggy whip maker." Colin: "I'm pretty sure we've never had that." Brad: "We've had it for every suggestion in Lancaster, PA." Also needed was an unusual kind of animal, which would end up being an armadillo.
Brad ran offstage then began the scene by saying "Ding dong!" Colin: "Come in." Jessica was thrown off by this, but after a second "Ding dong" took the hint to walk Brad in. I don't have much to say about this one since it is a "you'd have to see it to get it" game. It involved Brad and Colin trying to ride and train Colin's armadillo using a buggy whip. The Ukraine aspect didn't really play into it - that is, I couldn't tell whether the accents they used were supposed to be Ukrainian or Amish. After the game, Colin advised audience participant Brad never to try lifting a weight-bearing leg. I agree; it's good advice.


I was looking forward to seeing this "new" game. I had seen the Improv All-Stars version and read descriptions of Colin and Brad's version, but couldn't quite imagine how it would work. But I'll try to explain it myself.
Two middle age-ish people, Bill and Amy, are chosen from the audience. Each is given a bicycle horn, to be used as a buzzer. Colin plays the role of the host as well as the voice of Bill. Bill, Brad and Amy are the contestants, but Brad also provides Amy's voice. It might seem confusing for the two improvisers to do double character duty, but the game is set up such that each person takes turns, so it's always clear whether Colin or Brad is talking as himself or as their audience member. They also do exaggerate voices for the participants, so that helps too. Colin holds cards, each with a category, and asks the audience for a one-word "answer" that belongs in the category. The "contestants" honk to answer with the "question," which is usually a groan-worthy pun. Not only does this set-up allow Colin and Brad to play Jeopardy!, which wouldn't work with just two improvisers, but it gives adds a New Choice quality, in that the participants can honk whenever they want to force the improvisers to come up with funny "questions."
Brad gave Amy the typical Brad-as-a-female voice and Colin gave Bill a loud, somewhat gruff tone. Bill accompanied it with overacted angry faces and poses.
Colin: "Contestant number one, who are you?"
Brad as Amy (though from here on I'll just mention the name of the participant; they'll always be voiced by their assigned person): "Hi! My name is Guinevere Patrowski. I am a part time bartender and a full-time alcoholic." (Amy makes a shocked expression)
Colin: "Doesn't that kind of make things difficult, you being an alcoholic working in a bar?"
Amy: "Not at all. I get all the booze I can drink! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Rock and roll!" (with appropriate flailing arm gestures)
Colin: "Um, why do you keep looking at contestant number two?"
Amy: "He's so handsome! And I'm drunk off my ass!"
Brad, providing his own voice, was Jean-Claude Recharde. "I'm a part time ice sculpture and a full time ice sculpture." After Colin asked about this, Brad clarified, "It's a recession. I need two jobs." Bill was Reginald Van Foofenhaffen, and I am a life cheerleader." Bill demonstrated by shuffling left and right oddly. "And a part time fiddler crab, I'm guessing." Colin asked him more about being a life cheerleader, prompting Bill to do his attempt at cheerleading, which seemed to be whatever spastic movements came to mind for him.

First category: Musical terms
Answer: Allegro (Amanda tried to get in arpeggio)
Brad: "What does a pirate hope will happen?"

Second category: Type of insects
Answer: Mosquito
Bill: "What is attached to a mesquite foot?"

Third category: Spices or herbs
Answer: Cumin
Amy: "What will she be doing 'round the mountain?"

Fourth category: Types of hats
Answer: Sombrero
Guinevere: "What is less than more brero?"

Fifth category: Mythical creatures or monsters
Answer: Cyclops
Bill honks in. Colin asks "Reginald" for the question, but Bill looks at Brad. "You're Reginald," Colin points out. Brad adds, "He is drunk as well!"
Colin: "Why are you looking at him?"
"Reginald": "Oh! He is just so attractive!"
Colin: "The answer is cyclops. What is the question?" Bill, using his own voice, starts to reply, at the same time that Colin speaks for him. After the confusion clears, Colin-as-Bill gives the question. "What ... doesn't rhyme with perpendicular?"

Sixth category: Indian tribes
Answer: Hopewell
Amy: "Where do you dump your bucket of dreams?" After it's confirmed that this is the correct answer, she adds, "Wow, I'm soberin' up!"

Seventh category: Things that live in the sea
Answer: Octopus
Amy: "What do you call a lady with eight vaginas? [roars of shock and laughter from the audience] I can't believe I said that."

Colin: "Whah-whah-whah-what! Well that's the noise I make when it's time for Final Jeopardy."

Amy: "I am going to bid a fifth of wild turkey...and a lap dance."
Colin: "Oh! All right Guinevere. I am pulling for you." Colin announces the category, three-syllable words. "I believe the first thing I heard clearly was 'cat.' Here we go, Guinevere. The category, three-syllable words, the answer was 'cat.' What is the question?"
Amy: "Yes. What word has three syllables in Mansfield, Ohio?"

Bill: "I have bid all of my points and I am going to get a relaxation class. Everyone RELAX. Everyone RELAAX. Everyone RELAAAX." (during this Bill flexes his most strenuous odd-pose muscles yet) His category is "foreign words." The answer is "Margarita." Amy enthusiastically tries to buzz in. "I love me some maaaarrrgaaarita!"
Colin: "The answer we got was danke schoen. Good luck to you, Reginald; I've got a feeling it's not going to be good. The answer is danke schoen. question?"
Bill: "Yes! What do you get when you...wipe a donkey with..." Bill makes a large forward wiping motion with his arm. Brad and Amy slowly step away from Bill. Colin is also taken aback with it, and gives him the points.
Brad: "I am going to bid all of my points and my restraining order against Reginald." Brad's category is "things associated with outer space."

Colin: "The answer is 'Uranus.'"
Brad: "Where is the worst place to hide your car keys?"

The game ended with Colin commenting, "It would've been better if we just got Bill out of his shell." Brad added, "That last game was sponsored by Ritalin."

The Torture Game

To recap; this is a medley of the games Questions Only, One-Syllable Words, If You Know What I Mean, Letter Substitutions (for this night, every S would be substituted with a T), and the Dr. Seuss game (which I think should be called Fezzik's Game). Shannon, chosen from the audience, reads each game name whenever Colin or Brad says "freeze," just for the sake of reminding everyone which is next.
Shannon also helped by blindly choosing, from the Richland/Ashland Regional Yellow Pages, the profession(s) which Colin and Brad would use for their scene. The first was Mansfield neurology (Brad pointed out that "right below it is gynecology.") This would be combined with another profession, though. The second choice at first was (something) medical, but it's understandable that Brad skipped this and checked the opposite page to find mattresses and meat packers. "Let your comedy spices pick the right one," Brad told Shannon. The audience was strongly in favor of meat packers, and she obliged.

The game started in the style of Shakespeare (so I guess it's more a medley of six games). Anyone who's seen any of the American Whose Line guys do Shakespeare can pretty much imagine how this went. Colin made a reference to the first game "My words burst forth like a Ukrainian armadillo." Colin played the part of a neurologist hiring Brad, the meat packer, to provide catering for his party. It...makes sense if you don't think too much about it.

I was amused when, in Questions Only, they made a very topical reference (even if I'm already sick [no pun intended] of hearing about it):
Brad: "Do you want pork? Do you want chicken? Do you want...swine?"
Colin: "Can we hold off on the swine?"

Brad: "Do you have any vegetarians?"
Colin: "Would I be hiring a meat packer if they were? Is there a carrot packer that I don't know about?"

The - next - game - was - Brad - for - most - of - the - time - though - he - did - talk - like - this - for - I - think - the - whole - game. Colin replied to some of Brad's long-winded sentences with one-word sentences like "good" and "yeah."

Colin: "They will go in the crowd and serve the food?"
Brad: "Yes. On trays."
Colin: "Oh. That will be good. On their hands would be bad."
Brad: "No, that would not be clean."
Colin: "No. It must be clean, for it is a place of...clean...things."
Brad: "What is the...worse thing that...a brain can have? Name it."
Colin: "There is a thing we call...Brain Sick. That is all I must say."
Brad: "How do you know if you are sick of the brain?"
Colin: "Your head does swell up to the size of a...large fruit."
Brad: "Which fruit?"
Colin: (after a moment of though) "A...grape, times ten. So, you will ... have the...meat...all...set to go..."
Brad: "Yes. What day of the week should I - (audience laughter and applause drowning out the rest)
Colin: "You can bring the meat...three days from now."
Brad: "What day is that? I don't know what this day is!"
Colin: "It is May 1st."
Brad: "How would you like to play? I don't take cash. Do you have a charge card?"
Colin: "Yeah."
Brad: "What brand?"
Colin: "This one. I will fit it out to save time. There you go. All is done. Yay!"

If You Know What I Mean included the expected jokes about tasting and having meat, but "I can't wait to bring all of my meat to your opening" did stand out. There were also lines about Brad's large staff, which included two women who work on his staff full time. Colin asked how many men Brad has under him.

Letter Substitutions, with the S to T conversion, was a bit like a scene of Tweety impersonations. My favorite part of this game is always when a player says something that ends up sounding naughty, but he doesn't realize it until afterward...such as when Colin complimented the meat by calling it "deliciout." It's not amusing when one goes out of the way to say something risque-sounding, like when Colin described how he would recommend it to all of his family: including his mother, father, and titter. I'm not quite sure whether using the family name of "Taint Clare" was an intentional one, though. But I didn't even think twice about it until Brad said, "You mutt be French, becaute there it a taint in your name." Brad shouting "thit" seemed gratuitous, but at least it actually gave the scene some direction - it was then about how Brad couldn't cater Colin's event because of his "ton's toccer game." This of course angered Colin, and the two argued, calling each other names like "att hole" and "battard."

For the Dr. Seuss game, the two calmed down and apologized.
Colin: "I did not mean to scream and yell. Why, this past week has just been hell! Putting this party all together. And then on Sunday I hear there will be rainy weather. All these things are causing me stress. Why, just yesterday I put on a dress."
The game also featured the "classic" Colinism "ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee." I wonder if now does it more as a catch phrase than as an actual alternative to coming up with any other "ee" rhymes.
The two repeated the gag I had seen in my first show in which Brad says several things ending in -uck, only for Colin to come up with anything other than you-know-what. They even used the same lines, though reworded and rearranged. It also ended the same way, with Colin just saying, "All right, see ya."

Sound Effects

This is one of the games that I would normally complain is mostly the same every time, but I've gotta give credit to the two for mixing it up this time around. Colin specifically asked for a volunteer confident in their sound effects ability, who ended up being a teenage dude (Brendan, I think). Brad walked into the audience and explained that since normally, it's hard for the audience in the back to be heard for suggestions, he would let an entire section provide his sound effects. He handed it to one person, and each person would pass the microphone to the person sitting next to him or her after making one sound effect. It's a great idea - it provides a wider range of sound effect talents (or lack of) and gives more people the chance to participate in the show. And since Colin still has an onstage sound effect provider, I still got the benefit of seeing the embarrassed amateur performer's reactions.
For the scene, Colin asked for "something you've always wanted to do, but was afraid to do, like bungee-jumping or sky-diving." This was the perfect opportunity for me to use the suggestion of "hot-air balloon," which I'd always wanted to get in ever since littlechild suggested it in a previous post. My shout of "go in a hot air balloon," however, not heard. It would've been interesting if it was used, though. I imagine it would prevent Colin and Brad from using the same exact scene structure that they had used in almost all of their previous Sound Effects playings: Test out equipment, get a call for help, drive to the scene while listening to CDs, use a bullhorn to save others from danger, celebrate afterward with beers. Then again, another suggestion given, bikini waxing, also would've made for a, uh, different type of scene.
But this was about swimming with sharks.

Colin: "I've gotta tell you that, uh, you know, I've never swam with the sharks before, I' hear my heart beat?"
Brendan: "Buh-bum-buh-bum-buh-bum-buh-bum-buh-bum"
Colin: "It sounds like the theme from Jaws!"
Brad: "You should see a neurologist."

I'm skipping around for this summary because, naturally, there's a lot of "you'd have to hear it to get it" material. The gist of the scene is that Brad made a protein shake for Colin to help calm him down, then, yes, they tested out equipment. They then drove out on their boat, presumably just to wherever they happened to know where sharks are? And while they were on the boat, they listened to CDs!

Colin: "Hey, the best of Pavarotti! I love Pavarotti."
Brad: "Me too."
Audience SFX: "OOH-ooh-OOH-ooh"
Brad: "Oh, a British ambulance just went by."
Colin: "Let me just turn up Pavarotti here."
Colin: "Man, is he ever over-rated!"
Brad: "I've got one you'll like. Bruce Springsteen!"
Audience SFX: "..."
Brad: "I have to just turn it up."
Audience SFX: "..........(spoken) BORN IN THE U.S.A."
Brad: "That's the worst version of that song..."

The scene involved Colin bringing a sheep on the trip, for the sacrificing (I'm guessing for distracting the sharks, as opposed to ritualistic reasons). This lead to one of my favorite surreal, maybe unintentionally funny lines from Colin, "I'm just gonna put some scuba equipment on the sheep."
Colin: "You okay?"
Brendan: "Baaah."
Colin: "He's depressed."
Brad: "He's like Jacques Ewe-steau."
[many audience groans]

Colin: "I'll put the sheep in first."
ASFX: "Splash!"
Colin: "We must be in Obvious Ocean."

Brad: "Maybe we should swim over by this snorkeling kids."
Colin: "Kids? They shouldn't be here in shark-infested water!"
They then noticed, thanks to an accompanying sound, that there was a baby with the crowd.
Brad: "Who brings a baby snorkeling?"
Colin: "In a shark-infested ocean!"

So Brad decides to use the bullhorn (that he happened to have on his boat). At this point I couldn't figure out whether they were still underwater or swimming on the surface. Maybe it was a special underwater bullhorn. Brad's first two attempts were more lone, extended syllables than useful warnings, and the third was just "GET OUT!" But the fourth drove the message home:

Male ASFX: "Hey, you bastard kids! Get out of the water!"

The audience seemed to appreciate this remark. Anyway, I can't remember what / make out what lead to it, but Brad mentioned his floating pants.

Brad: "They inflate when I squeeze my butt cheeks together!"
Colin: "Don't feel you have to tell me everything..."
Brad: "You should see how I deflate them!"

Then at one point Brad and Colin find in the ocean a sea gerbil, which is officially my new favorite fictional animal. Brad: "You can find them on the coral reef, spinning on a little puffer fish!" Then they found a shark, who hummed his own theme music. Brad: "We're going to need a bigger boat!" So they would have to use the sheep.

Colin: "Oh, I feel bad about him being ripped to pieces by the shark just for..."
Brad: "To hell with it!"
Colin: "Hey, I raised this sheep since...he was small. He's very valuable to me. [he looks at the sheep] Aren't you?"
Brendan: "Yes."

Colin was shocked by this, as he never realized his sheep could talk! He couldn't feed it to the shark now. So Brad used one of his gadgets, the bang stick, to deal with the shark, but that just ended up pissing it off. So he then used the harpoon gun strapped to his back. That didn't work either, but luckily Colin had a wind-up torpedo. There was a loud "WHUMPF."

Colin: "That dog came right out of nowhere!"
Brad: "It's a Portuguese water-dog."

It must have worked against the shark, because Brad and Colin were then free to surface and get back to the boat.

Colin: "That was the most exciting time I've ever had in my life. The shark coming toward us, the Portuguese water-dog. It was amazing! (beat) Let's get drunk!"

Colin offered beer or champagne to Brad, who choose the beer. They ended the round with, yep, drinking and belching. This time, though, Brad announced, before doing it, that he would chug his beer, belch loudly, and then yodel. He did what fairly passed for those three things. After the game, Brad went back into the audience to get the microphone, asking along the way, "Who was the yodeler? Good job!" Someone else, though, told him, "I can do better than that." Brad called the claim and handed the microphone to a woman, who proceeded to do a better-than-the-last-person-but-not-terribly-brag-worthy yodel. Brad: "All of a sudden I want some instant cocoa." Someone in the audience near us, oddly, said what I think was "go to McDonald's." But Brad nor Colin heard or acknowledged the weird remark.

Interrogation / The Crime Game

Colin goes into the lobby (with a witness to prevent him from cheating) so that Brad can gather audience suggestions. The first part would be something unusual that he was wearing. The first suggestion (made while Brad was still talking) was a tutu, which I imagine is the list of most-often suggested items for this round. Brad continued by asking for "anything but women's lingerie," and choose yarmulke, followed by pasties. "He's wearing a yarmulke and pasties. That's a bar mitzvah I want to go to!" During this point I was hoping to get in the suggestion I had in mind, which was a pelican costume. When Brad proceeded to ask for the unusual crime, though, I was immediately ready as one of the two hand-raisers to get in first (Amanda being the other).

Brad: "Yes, you in the balcony at the end." [note: I had the aisle seat]
Brad: "He strangled a pelican. (beat) Excellent!"

Thinking back, I wish I had suggested an even more unusual animal, like an ocelot (maybe I would specify Greg Proops's ocelot!) or a slow loris.
Colin committed another unusual crime, as well. One guy tried "he shaved everybody bald." But Brad declined it on the grounds that "We've done a lot of bald things relating to Colin, so...let's just take something that he's never heard before." So instead of that, Colin....milked a spider. I don't see how that's a crime, really, but I'll admit that it's a hard one for him to guess. Next was the location of the crime. Brad explained how he had been through Ohio a lot, so he wanted to hold out until he could get one hopefully difficult that he's never heard before. He went through Elyria, Wapakoneta (he remembered that they had used this one before), and Ontario ("Well, he lives in Toronto, Ontario, so uh..."), and Jelloway (sp?) Valley before settling on Walhonding. One woman near us tried Versailles repeatedly, though not very loudly. Maybe she was saying it more to herself than actually trying to get it used. Brad recapped at this point, and when he said "...when he strangled a penguin..." many were quick to correct him. He then asked for two things that were found at the scene of the crime. I heard "his finger," but Brad first noticed "jackalope." ("You've an evil woman.") Then someone tried "calculator," but Brad said, "That's a good one, but it's not weird enough." After that I heard someone say "spatula," and I wondered on what grounds is a spatula weirder than a calculator. But the second item would be a prosthetic leg. "Based on the audience reaction...I've learned that you're all kind of sick."

So: while wearing a yarmulke and pasties, Colin strangled a pelican and milked a spider in Walhonding, leaving behind a prosthetic leg and a jackalope.

As we waited for Colin to walk back, Brad plugged the show's Facebook page. No mention of their MySpace page, though. We continued to wait a few more seconds. "And, uh....he's left. Heading to Cleveland!" Some dude said something about a Brad Sherwood show. "The Brad Sherwood Show. Singing sonnets that I wrote in the bathroom." He counted on his fingers while making up one.: "There's no paper in here. What the hell am I to do. Oh, look, some nice curtains." Then Colin entered.

Brad began with his bad cop routine, talking down to Colin with insults. He asked Colin about what he was wearing.

Brad: "Just off the top of your head, you thought you'd try this out there?"
Colin: "Just...a nice big hat."
Brad: "Big?"
Colin: "A little hat."
Brad: "So, some sort of..."
Colin: "Hat."
Brad: "Now you're in the spirit of things."
Colin: "A ghost hat. It was a Jack Daniels hat."
Brad: "We can circle around all day."
Colin: "It was a...beanie."
Brad: "What kind of beanie?"
Colin: "A yarmulke."
Brad: "That's not all."
Colin: "No, I'd look silly just coming out with a yarmulke."
Brad: "Oh yeah. This didn't make you look silly at all. What kind of boob you are, to wander around. We're going to throw the book at you and the judge is going to make this stick."
Colin: (pause) "I was wearing pasties."
Brad: "Now let's talk about what you did. 'Cause this is just plain..."
Colin: "Wait. That's all I had on?"
Brad: "That's why this is so offensive!"

Brad berated him for how cruel and mean what he did was. Colin admitted, "It was cruel and mean, what I did to that poor, defenseless...animal?" Brad then said something which sounded like it could've been a clue, but if I was I don't get it. Something about the error of his ways. "Now let's talk about what kind of animal it was. Come on!" he shouted as he raised and lowered his arms quickly and broadly. Colin guessed that it was a big animal, and Brad continued to grill him while periodically flapping. Colin guessed ostrich. Brad excused himself to take his vitamins, then downed them by shaking his head and lower jaw wildly.

Colin: (pause) "A parrot."
Brad: "Oh! So some sort of..."
Colin: "Bird."

Brad knew that Colin was trying to "fish" for some alibi at this point, but that wouldn't hold water. This made Colin try eagle, flamingo and again parrot. Brad repeated his pill-taking bit.

Brad: "Well? I don't need to shore up your alibi, my friend, but you need to start talking right now. Or I will stick my fist so far down your gullet."
Colin: "Pelican."

Brad asked what was done to the pelican. "I don't know why you would do this, but it's not right. When I think of when I saw that pelican at the vet, and I saw him, I...(sigh) Those animals are ... really ... it just..."
Colin: I sent them to a bad acting class."

Brad continued to describe how emotionally overcome he was. Colin figured out that he choked the pelican, then clarified to "strangled."

Colin: "I love to multitask."
Brad: "But what else did you do, since you were hell-bent to torture and abuse helpless..."
Colin: "I did something, uh, different from that."
Brad: "You are an utter [something I can't make out]
Colin: "I massaged a cow."
Brad: "Cow, this has nothing to do with a cow."
Colin: (pause) "...oops."
Brad: "Listen, before you kick the bucket, why don't you tell me what you did. I don't have all day. I don't want to squeeze it out of you."
Colin: "I milked something."
Brad: "Why don't you tell me what? Make this simple on all of us."
Colin: "I'm hoping it's an animal."
Brad: "Not really."
Colin: "............a...statue."
Brad: "I'll add that to your charges."
Colin: "It's not easy to milk a statue when you're strangling a pelican."
Brad: "It makes my skin crawl even to think -"
Colin: "A snake."
Brad: "What?"
Colin: "It's hard 'cause it's so close to the ground! To get under there! You ever try to milk a snake? It's nuts!"
Brad: "You're milking the wrong snake if it's got nuts!"
Colin: "So I milked something."
Brad: "But it's also close to the ground. It makes my skin crawl to think - I said that already."
Colin: "Yeah. A spider."
Brad: "What?"
Colin: "Yeah, I milked a spider. With a little bucket."

Brad then had Colin what he had gotten so far, which he did successfully. Then it was time to discuss the location of the time.

Brad: "We'll talk about this place, and I want you to...before I do that, why don't you just plug your ears for just a second?"

Brad hurried off of the stage and stepped back into the audience to the young man from whom he had said "Walhonding." They whispered to each other. Brad went back onstage.

Brad: "All right. Let's talk about this place."
Colin: "Maybe you should take some vitamins to help that memory loss."

Brad tried to get Colin to say the entire name in one guess. "The first part is what you right now have your back against, being in this predicament. The second part is my favorite...cute blonde...cute blonde's last name from Laugh-In. The last the sound your microwave makes when your popcorn is done. Put those all together, once again...what you have your back against, followed by the cute blonde on Laugh-In, followed by the sound...the microwave makes when you're done. Put it all together, and you have..."
Colin: "Wall-Hahn-Ding."
Brad: "That's right, Walhonding."
Colin: "Boy, that's hard to remember."
Brad: "If it hadn't taken me an ice age to say pelican, we would've been there."

Brad introduced Colin to the evidence left at the scene. "Another poor, defenseless..."
Colin: "A bit of a theme in my crime."
Brad: "Yes. And this was an unusual...thing. Like not all one thing. A combo platter."
Colin: "It's a platypus."
Brad: "No."
Colin: "It kind of looks like it in this light."

Brad talked about how it was seemingly two things at once, sort of a hare-raising thing to look at. "If you get my point, buck. I can't give you any more clues; you have to go stag on this one." Colin identified the antlers, and thought it was a deer. Brad hypothesized that Colin might have been trying to take its foot off for good luck. This seemed to puzzle Colin a bit. Brad then did something to raise Colin's seat (get it?), then mentioned how he and his girlfriend were getting married and not telling anyone (eh? eh?). "It's a ... hare-telope."
Brad: "Yes, it's a hare-telope! The fabled hare-telope!"
Colin: "Half-deer, half-rabbit."
Brad: "That's exactly what this is! Only it's not called a hare-telope, ass!"
Colin: "Jackalope!"

Brad: "Now let's talk about this last thing here. Which is quite frankly ironic, 'cause with your lame alibi, you don't have one to stand on. I see right through you. You're a fake! Come on! Let's strap in testify to the entire crime! I know some of the things I said might've stumped you, but now! Put one foot in front of the other and tell me what you did."
Colin: "While wearing a yarmulke and pasties, I strangled a pelican while milking a spider in Walhonding with a jackalope and a prosthetic leg."

As Colin and Brad sat on the stools with their microphone, I realized Mousetraps would not be played that night. Since I had seen it live twice already and it mostly the same thing each time, I was mostly okkay with this. I was only disappointed in that I wouldn't get to see it from above the stage for once. I also would have liked to see Sentences - but do they play it anymore? I'm glad that I was able to see Jeopardy! and the multi-participatory Sound Effects, though, so I don't mean to complain.
The duo thanked the audience and talked about what a magical night it was, and how great it would be if there was some way to remember it for the rest of their lives...

Ending Song (My Way)

Brad: And now, the end is near, so we face the final curtain*
You've laughed and sat so long that both your face and ass are hurtin'*
We tried to make you smile, and will come back, so keep your eyes peeled
On this night, this magic night, right here in Mansfield!

Colin: Moving Bodies, we started out, ha ha, our volunteers we knew, wouldn't fail ya
My guy twisted me round, I think he bruised my genitalia
Jeopardy!, well that was fun, though at times, it got quite absur-hurd
But we learned, that a three-syllable word

Brad: Well, that was fun, I've realized
And I think Bill needs to be tranquilized
He was so strained, and really lost control
And in our Torture Game, I packed meat in your hole!
That was fun, we're number one
Right here in -

Both: Maaansfiiieeld!

Colin: Sound Effects, that was fun, that was really...quite (deceiving?)
Hey, it was so weird, when I had to...gargle with your urine
And Crime took a long time, you had to work time to make me si-ing
Pelican took a long, long time but you forgot Walhonding

Brad: So now we hope you've realized*
That our whole show is completely improvised*
We made it up, because we could*
Oh yes, we're just that friggin' good!*
[a line I don't remember]
We have to go
We love you -

Both: Maaaaaaansfiieeeeld!

*(not improvised, tsk)

In conclusion

I didn't record the first show I saw (partly because I didn't think I'd get away with it, but also because I was skeptical that it would record well), but I did record the Lakeside show using a digital audio recorder. That came out surprisingly well, and it helped tremendously for my recap. Because said recording device has since mysteriously been unable to record anything (but it stills plays what's already on it, thankfully) I went with the older-fashioned audio cassette recorder, which did the job well enough. I used a 120-minute tape and flipped it during the applause after the third game, and it filled up almost perfectly - I only missed the last few lines of the song as the tape ran out.

So even though there was a lot of material that we had already seen, we still enjoyed the show. In a way, it sort of helped us appreciate the parts that we hadn't seen, because we knew it was probably truly made up on the spot. So even after three shows, I would still totally look forward to a fourth.

Thank you for reading this incredibly long post that took me a week to write!
Tags: an evening with, brad sherwood, colin mochrie, improv, improvisation
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